I think we can all agree on the fact that:
we all like people who are friendly,
we all like to be treated in a friendly manner,
we all like a friendly atmosphere, don’t we?
But:
Do you wait for others to be friendly first?
Do you think people need to deserve your friendliness?
How do you feel about being friendly to unkind people?
I often hear: I am not friendly to that person as he/she is never friendly towards me.
Mmm, I tend to have a different opinion about this, and it brings me nothing but a positive outcome.
I know it’s not always easy, and I don’t pretend I never slip up either, but my philosophy is:
Be friendly first. Try it. You’ll be surprised by the effect you’ll create in others. Make it your new modus operandi.
A long time ago, I used to work in an office in a small town, and we had a client who was really, really grumpy. Nobody liked him, and when he entered the office, everybody suddenly got ‘very busy’ to avoid having to help him. As I don’t like it myself when I enter a store or an office and people look away or pretend to not seeing me. I thought, okay, what’s the worst that can happen? He’s not nice now, he doesn’t communicate, so it can never hurt trying to get him less grumpy. I tried to be cheerful and smiling, every time he came in. At first, no reaction. At most, a raised eyebrow and a look of ‘what does she want’. But I kept doing this, and I kept treating him like he was one of our friendly customers. My colleagues found this very naïve of me. But after a couple of months, he started to ‘grunt a hello’ when he came in. The longer he was treated in a friendly way, the more he relaxed. I will not pretend that he became our most talkative client, nor our most cheerful client, but he became more communicative and occasionally, we got one of his rare smiles. He was no longer a client everyone avoided, and you could see he enjoyed getting served with a smile. In return, he treated us with more kindness too. So, it was a win – win.
I believe that even when people are not friendly, they deserve our smile, our friendliness. I would even go one step further and say, they need it the most.
Even if you don’t believe they deserve your friendliness, even if you need to make an effort to smile, try it and become aware of the difference in how you are feeling:
when you are friendly and smiling,
or when you are negative and spiteful.
Notice how your chest opens up, how you can breathe easily, how light you feel, when you are friendly and smiling, and how your chest congests, how you feel a heavy burden on your shoulders, how tense you are feeling when you are on a low, negative vibrational frequency.
Notice how often you get a friendly reply when you are friendly, and how often you get a snarl when you are acting in an attacking way. I feel safe to say, I think very often.
You really get what you send out.
I know, I know, it’s not a 100% guarantee.
But what do you prefer?
Having friendly conversations, even though, you were the one who had to initiate the friendliness?
Or
Waiting in a hostile, tense atmosphere, until the other party decides to take the first step towards kindness?
To me, you can only win by sending out kindness:
you feel good yourself as you are on a higher vibrational frequency, and this resonates throughout your whole body. You not only feel it emotionally but physically too! And there is a very big chance that you can change the whole atmosphere around you too.
It really is contagious: you receive what you radiate.
People who read me often, will know that my absolute favorite quote is:
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” By Mahatma Gandhi.
Let this quote sink in, think about the meaning of this quote. Imagine the world as you would like it to be, and then change your behavior step by step, wherever necessary, to get closer to that world.
You can only win.
And when you meet the eternal grumpy person, let his/her negativity wash over you, and distance yourself from these negative vibes. Don’t take it personally. Their bitterness is all about them, not you. It’s only very unhappy people who are bitter and unsmiling. Think of them with compassion, and don’t let them take you down on that low, cold, lonely vibration.
I invite you all to think about this strategy in life and try it. Don’t give up too easily.
You’ll see the results in the long run. Nothing but wins, for everybody.
“Don’t let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.”
Thank you all for reading me and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles and many other authors, you can become a Medium Member and you’ll be supporting me, and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien