Winning.
Beating the competition.
Being better at something than someone else.
Does that make you a better person?
Does that make you a happier person?
No, not at all.
And often quite the contrary.
If your goal in life is beating someone else, no matter in what area, you’re probably not a very nice, nor a very happy, person.
The only competition you need to take on, is the one against yourself.
Ask yourself every morning:
Who do I want to be?
What do I want to give?
Taking the time to reflect on those 2 questions, gives you already a moment of awareness. You will be able to start your day consciously.
Every day, you get to be a better person than you were yesterday.
Choose to be so.
And this can be in whatever area you set your goals:
You can be more patient today.
You can be kinder today.
You can be more helpful today.
You can commit to going to the gym today.
You can eat healthy today.
You can increase the distance you are running today.
You can go to bed earlier today.
You can apply for that job you want.
No matter what you will be doing today, you can do better than yesterday.
And that is the only goal you need to set:
Decide to become a better person, day after day.
That is the only victory that matters.
And it’s the only victory that will make you truly happy.
As long as beating someone else to it, is the thing that you’re looking for, you’ll never be happy nor content.
You may think that the momentary high of winning, is making you happy, but that never lasts, as there will always be someone better than you, faster than you, more intelligent than you, richer than you…
Feeling superior doesn’t make you happy, nor does it make you a better person.
My invitation to you all this week is:
Take a very good look at yourself.
Be brutally honest.
Ask yourself: “How can I become a better person, to myself and to others?”
Write down where you want to make changes.
Make this very concrete.
Break it down in doable steps.
Set a plan and stick to it, day after day.
For instance: you want to become more patient.
Don’t expect yourself to become the personification of the virtue of patience overnight. Start with promising yourself that, whenever you feel yourself getting impatient, force yourself to count to 10 before you do or say anything. Very simple and very helpful. You can avoid a lot of knee-jerk reactions just by counting to 10. Writing this down, reminds me of what the nuns used to teach us back in the days at school. Yes, I am talking about 50 years ago now, but it is still in my mind today. The nuns taught us that, before we answered, we had to turn our tongue around in our mouths 7 times. Hilarious I know, but you can be sure that you had thought about your answer before speaking up, and of course, avoided many unnecessary conflicts.
Another example: you want to sleep more.
Easy, set an alarm to go to bed. Sounds a little crazy, but don’t we set alarms for all kinds of things we don’t want to forget? Well, set your alarm every night and go to bed.
All you want to change in your life, is doable once you break it down into tiny steps, and as long as you work towards your goal, day after day.
No matter what you want to change, start today, by taking the first step into the direction you want to go in life.
This goes for anything you want to change in your life.
Make it realistic. Know your why and stick to your plan.
Do something about it today. And then every following day.
It’s as dr. Wayne Dyer says: “Don’t think about it now as something you will have to do for the rest of your life, because that will seem too overwhelming. Just decide that you will act this way today. That is doable”. Let’s say to yourself: I won’t be drinking alcohol today, or I won’t eat sugar today, or today, I’ll be kind towards everyone in traffic, or today I’ll be generous towards my co-workers, … Try this and you’ll see that one day is easy. At the end of the day, you will be so proud of yourself and you’ll know for a fact that you are capable of doing what you intended to do. Now you know you can act in this new way. So, from now on, you set an intention every day and follow it through. Before you know it, it will have become your new habit, and it will become easier and easier to think and act the way you want to.
Set the competition with yourself, and only with yourself.
It’s the only way to lasting change, and the only way to feel real happiness.
Start today!
Keep a journal and be proud of every win you achieve, big or small.
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Katrien