One of the many wise sayings of Maya Angelou is:
“Do the best you can until you know better,
Once you know better, do better.”
I find that a very powerful thought, not only for ourselves but also to be able to be more empathetic towards others. Because when we judge others for ‘acting stupid’, for ‘being insensitive’, for ‘making things worse’, …we forget that in most cases that’s the best they can do at this very moment. People, mostly, do not intend to hurt people, do not intend to be insensitive, it’s just the only way they know how to handle the situation. This does not mean you have to indulge their behavior, no, but it can help you to not take it personally. Once people are conscious of their behavior, then and only then, can they decide to change their behavior. Once they want to change, they are open to learn and once they learn, they can do better.
When I read the above saying, to me, this is an invitation:
to analyze my way of thinking, my way of behaving.
to learn what else is possible,
to grow,
to open myself up to new ideas,
to see things from another perspective,
to listen more attentively and to try to understand more,
to become silent and peaceful, …
Because once you do all of the above, you’ll see more, you’ll hear more, you’ll know more.
Once you know more, you’ll know better, and so you can start doing better.
Instead of getting angry, instead of fighting people, you’ll realize that they don’t know any better yet.
Engaging in a fight makes everybody lose, not engaging in a fight, makes the fight go away as you don’t fuel anger, frustration, … anymore and then you have ground to come to a mutual solution. Because now you know better and you can act from a different place.
Love is our most powerful tool.
Instead of judging, you now see them on their path going forward at their own pace. They may not be where you are yet, but they are getting there. They’ll learn, eventually, or maybe not.
That’s okay too, that is their choice, their responsibility, that is their path.
The master appears when the student is ready.
You can’t force consciousness upon someone. They have to be ready to learn.
Instead of punishing and being harsh, just show them another way, show them another possibility by living in a loving, peaceful, respectful way. By showing them there is another way, you can teach people what you know, just by living it, not by forcing it upon them, not by judging them.
It’s up to them what they pick up and what they will start practicing.
“Be the change you want to see in the world”
says Mahatma Gandhi and that is my absolute favorite saying.
Getting angry because others don’t do the things you would like them to do, leads to nothing. They are responsible for their actions, not you.
There are also so many ways of living a good life, it doesn’t mean your way is the only way. As dr. Wayne W. Dyer said: ‘This is my way, this your way. THE way does not exist.’
Transforming into the person you want to be, doing what you believe is the right thing to do, is what you need to focus on.
Life is a continuous path of learning.
We understand more and more as we grow older, we learn from our mistakes, and that is how you can become better instead of bitter.
That’s how we will all be able to live a
wiser,
gentler,
less judgmental,
more loving,
more knowing life.
Once we know better, that’s when we can start doing better.
My invitation to you all this week is:
become silent,
become conscious of your own thoughts and behavior,
learn,
grow,
embrace your teachers,
practice what you learn,
and that is when you will start knowing, and doing, better.
Thank you all for reading me and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles and many other authors, you can become a Medium Member and you’ll be supporting me, and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien