Quietness and calm are as necessary as air and water. Most of us have forgotten this. We go on and on, and time flies, without us having taken the time to breathe, to be still, to just … be.
We do and do and do, and then we are surprised we feel annoyed, frustrated, conflicted or even become ill.
What will it take to make people being able to enjoy peace and quiet again?
I know people are all different, and some say that they don’t need, or don’t even like the stillness. But that always makes me wonder….
Don’t they really?
When was the last time they went absolutely quiet?
How do they feel about doing nothing, about just being, sitting, walking in silence, in nature?
Do they feel they are allowed to take this quiet, alone time?
Or do they feel guilty and afraid other people will judge them?
Doing, doing, doing just because society is constantly telling us to do so, and therefore, we, keep telling ourselves we must do so, is a recipe for disaster.
This constant busyness* will end up
in a break down,
a break up,
or both.
When you ask people nowadays how they are: you can bet your life savings on it, the answer will be: “Busy”, “Really busy”, “Way too busy”, …. And that makes me feel sad. Because I see people suffer because of their refusal to take the time to be quiet. What I observe is that people are not happy, people complain all the time, people are exhausted, people get sick, people are suffering from insomnia, people feel depressed, people break up….
That’s why I advocate silence, being alone for a while, breathing, meditating….
Ponder these thoughts for a minute:
What would you do, if you knew people would approve of you taking some daily quiet time?
What would you do, if you knew people would be okay with you saying ‘no’ to them because you need this alone time?
Would you then be okay with just sitting around for a while, doing nothing, just being, just breathing?
Would you then have a cup of coffee without nervously checking your phone all the time?
How would you feel if you knew, being less busy is okay too?
Decide it is okay to take care of yourself.
Go out in nature, and just look around.
Be present and enjoy the beauty around you.
Go outside and breathe.
Feel what happens when you become completely silent.
It will take some adjusting as we were raised to be productive, to be busy, to be working all the time, to complete all of our chores before we are ‘allowed’ to enjoy a moment of quietness, … That is how our parents were raised, and that is how they raised us, as they were made to believe that this would give us a better chance to be happy in life. So, we shouldn’t blame them as they acted out of love. But now, we DO have a choice. We can make a change. We are the example for the next generation. Think about how we can choose how to live our lives. Give it a chance. Remember it is beneficial for your health, for your happiness, for your productivity, for your relationships, for everything.
Stop feeling unproductive when you are taking care of yourself, of your health, of your relationship, ….
You are not lazy when you decide:
to take less on to have breathing space in your agenda,
to take a nap to recharge your batteries,
to go for a walk before going to your job,
to meditate for a while during the day.
Not only you, but also the people around you, will be happier when you take care of yourself. Because when you feel well and relaxed, you are less quickly irritated, less quickly frustrated.
Manage your agenda so that you have enough time to do what you want to do, that you are able to do it well, and that there also are spaces in between activities. Also plan the quiet moments, because when you do not plan them, this time will be swallowed by you doing other things.
Knowing you have organized your time, will give you the calm to be at your best, because even when you have busy slots, you know there are also moments where you will be able to go to your quiet place. Once you have created more space, more time, you’ll notice that you are more focused, that you have more energy to tackle whatever problems arise, that your relationships improve, that you are more creative, that you are in a better mental, emotional and physical condition. You, and everyone around you, will benefit from you taking, quiet time for yourself, time to recharge, time to just be, time to refocus.
Decide now that you will do less of all that you are rushing into day after day, and that you will create space in your daily schedule to be more instead of do more*.
“You don’t simplify your life to have a simpler life.
You simplify your life to have a life” Courtney Carver.
Think of all the benefits, write them down if that makes it more tangible for you, or more acceptable.
Even saying ‘doing nothing’ is something we have to rephrase as it still feels as if we are wasting time. We could call it:
Taking a moment to be you, to come back to your core.
Reflection time.
Coming to a halt to choose your next move.
Recharging.
Pausing to make sure you are making the right choices.
Prioritizing to be able to live a healthy life.
You name it so that it feels good for you.
I invite you all to take a break and reprogram your current schedule. Plan space in between activities, and guard those buffers.
People will adjust. In the beginning they will feel a bit taken aback when you say you are going into your quiet time, your recharging slot. But then they’ll learn it’s what’s best for everyone. And hopefully, they’ll now look at their own agendas from a different perspective too. When everybody creates breathing space, we’ll all be more gracious and kinder towards each other, and towards ourselves. Even if you have a rather full schedule, stop saying you are busy, as you then create a mindset of feeling overwhelmed. ‘Saying you’re busy’ leaves no room for relaxation, makes you feel as if you’re not allowed to take a breath in between activities. Focus on the spaces in between, prioritize coming to a halt and have some quiet time every day, instead of emphasizing on the fullness of your agenda.
I give you all permission to take care of yourselves. You are allowed, and even strongly advised, to build in silence, peace and quiet in your lives.
Thank you all for reading me and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles and many other authors, you can become a Medium Member and you’ll be supporting me, and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*The Busy Boycott, Be More with Less, Courtney Carver.