Indeed, all and everything, good or bad, ends at some point, and that is what we have to keep in mind whenever life hits us hard.
For those who have been reading my blogs regularly, you know that it has been quite a ride this year. First, I broke my back, and once recovered from that, yet another couple of major, painful, changes, both private and professionally, happened in my life.
One of which was, the oldest son announcing that he is going to do his PhD … at the other side of the world, a 33-hour journey away from home. Moms (and dads) amongst you, can imagine what I am going through. One knows that our ‘kids’ eventually, will start their own lives, that they will, one day, go and live independently, … but at the other side of the planet was, to me, yet adding another dimension… Luckily there are a lot of good ways to communicate nowadays, but nothing beats a good hug, or having a meal together, right.
Anyway, after the initial grieving, because yes, this feels like a loss, it was up to me. I got to decide what, and how, I wanted to move forward. Because it is always up to us, to choose our path forward, us and nobody else.
Here is where lots of people disagree. A lot of people believe that it is up to others to make them happy, that it is due to circumstances that they feel unhappy. And to a certain degree, of course that is true, as certain events in life do make us sad. But then it is up to you to start taking steps towards happiness again, it is up to you to decide not to stay in this place of unhappiness.
Luckily, having been around for a quite a while :-), I really do know that ‘No storm lasts forever’*.
I always have faith, I always trust, that all will be good again.
That helps me whenever sadness, overwhelm or helplessness, threatens to take over.
Especially when dealing with something that is completely out of your own control, having faith, trusting, is of the utmost importance.
When for instance, thinking about my boys becoming adults, which is something that happens, whether I would like them to be small a little longer or not, I always keep dr. Wayne Dyer’s words in mind: “Raising kids is preparing them for life, is making individuals out of them, individuals who are creative, independent, and are ready to face the world with all the good and the bad coming their way”. But then, dr. Dyer says, comes the most important part: “ENJOYING your success!!” And that is what I keep telling myself whenever I feel myself slipping into melancholy about time flying by: “Enjoy your success!!! It’s a good thing that is happening. It’s what is meant to happen.”
As I said, as individual persons, we are all responsible for our own happiness. It is up to us, to choose how we want to look at the world, and at what is happening. Stating people’s own responsibility, people’s own accountability for showing up in life, is very often met, with great indignation on the part of the ones receiving the message. But it is true. We are responsible. It is up to us.
We, as humans, have the ability to choose one thought** over another. Hence, we get to choose how we want to feel, by choosing not to stay on a low vibrational frequency for too long.
So, whenever you feel yourself dwelling for too long, on negative, sad, thoughts, choose another thought. Choose that you do not want to stay in this situation which makes you feel miserable.
This is not denying your feelings, this is choosing to acknowledge your feelings, and then choosing to decide to change into more positive, more constructive thoughts and feelings. This is not easy. But it is possible. The more you live your life, knowing that you are responsible for your own thoughts and feelings, and hence practicing daily, choosing one thought over another, the better you’ll get at forging your path to happiness.
Choose gratitude,
Choose joy,
Choose inspiration,
Choose to go out in nature,
Choose to help other people, …
The list is endless, but it is up to you to make the choice.
And I have made the choice. Have you?
I want to feel happy, I want to feel joy, I choose to have a purpose in life, I choose to move forward.
Having a purpose is absolutely one of the main factors in being able to move forward.
Having a purpose is what makes the difference, between staying sad, staying angry, staying in ‘victim’ modus, … and choosing life!
No matter what is going on, no matter how bad things are looking right now, this too will end, and you have the power to make that choice.
Viktor Frankl wrote*** in his famous book ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, about the importance of having a purpose in life.
Having a purpose in life can mean the difference between living and dying, and in less extreme circumstances, the difference between living a happy, content life, and feeling miserable and a victim, all of your life.
My invitation to you all this week is:
No matter what is going on in your life right now, know that you have a choice in how you deal with it. Choose!
Choose power over defeat.
Choose action over passiveness.
Choose possibilities over problems.
Choose joy over sadness.
Choose moving on over dwelling on the past.
To all who need to hear this right now:
you can get through this,
you have the power in you,
better times are coming.
Thank you all for reading me, and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles, and of many other authors, you can become a Medium Member. You’ll be supporting me and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*”Change your Thoughts, Change your Life. Living the Wisdom of the Tao.” by dr. Wayne W. Dyer.
**”The Trouble is, it’s All up to Us. The Good Thing is, it’s All up to Us.” By Katrien Degraeve.
***’Men’s Search for Meaning’ by dr. Viktor Frankl.