We spend most of our lives worrying about things that will never happen anyway… so why worry so much?
I once read a funny, yet also inspiring, verse and it went like this:
There are only 2 things to worry about: whether you are well or whether you are sick.
When you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.
When you are sick, then there are only 2 things to worry about: whether you’ll get well or whether you’ll die.
When you get well, then there is nothing to worry about.
When you die, there are only 2 things to worry about.
Whether you’ll go to heaven, or whether you’ll go to hell.
When you go to heaven, then there is nothing to worry about.
When you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won’t have time to worry……:-)”
It is funny and I don’t believe in heaven and hell, so that is not what I want to write about but it sheds a beautiful light on the unnecessary amount of worrying we all do. We all spend soooooo much time worrying!!! And 90% (and maybe even more) of all the worst-case scenario’s we’ve envisioned, NEVER even happened!!!!!! And yet we continue to worry.
The most absurd worrying is worrying over things from the past. Just think for a moment: what good can possibly come from replaying over and over again what already happened??? If you think you’ve made a mistake, or if you think you’ve hurt someone, or forgot something. Stop replaying it but fix what needs to be fixed. Do what you need to do to make up for what you regret. And the LET IT GO! If it’s something that can’t be fixed, forgive who needs to be forgiven and move on. It’s how you act now that will help people and whining over the past is not helping anyone. We’ve all made mistakes: little ones and big ones. All we can do now, is learn from our mistakes, and make sure we don’t make them again. Forgive yourself and others and focus on the NOW.
And then there is the ‘big’ future. That’s something you can really knock yourself out with! Years and years, decades even, are there for you, your ego (as it is your Protective Self who wants to be in control all the time) begging you to envision your whole life, inviting you to make the perfect plan, making you think you know how to control life…. and then something happens that makes the whole card house, your perfect plan, crumble. All of your planning, worrying, trying to control… goes down the drain. You’ve spent hours, days, weeks, … worrying about whether you would be able to handle it, whether you would be doing things right, neglecting to enjoy the moment, letting all those beautiful ‘present time moments’ slip by…. and all for nothing. Once you realize you cannot predict/control the future, you’ll finally know it’s no use worrying about it. That’s when you start living from your Higher Self instead of being led by your ego’s worries.
Of course, there is also the near future: meetings that you need to attend, people you have to meet, things that need to get done, … I get it, you can feel anxious, worried about the outcome of it. But instead of worrying, just look at what is coming and ask yourself: how can I prepare myself? What can I do now to make the future event easier, smoother, more likely to succeed? List the things you can do, and do them.
“Action is worry’s worst enemy”
Once you’ve done what you needed to do, then say to yourself: I am as ready as can be. Now I let go of the result. I trust that all will be okay, that everything will work out just fine.
Let go of the notion that there is only one, possible result in life. Sometimes a different result turns out to be even better for you than the one you were striving for. When you know the direction-you-want-to-go in life, the person you want to be in life, then live your life in a way that leads you in that direction. The actual things you do, are of less importance, as long as you live according to your values and move in the direction you envision for yourself. You can plan and work towards a certain outcome in life, but don’t cling too hard to that one specific result. Don’t worry when things divert you a bit from what you were aiming for. Just work in the direction that feels good, do your best, learn the skills you need to master to do what you love but stop worrying so much.
There is no one-and-only result that will determine whether you will be happy or not. Many things can bring happiness. And worrying less is a big contribution to your happiness.
I know it’s easy to say: “Live in the now” but I invite you all to try it! You’ll feel so much more comfortable, relaxed, at ease.
Be conscious of how you are feeling right now and as dr. Wayne Dyer says*: whenever you feel ‘off’, don, unhappy, …say these five words:
“I Want To Feel Good.”
Saying these words, reminds you of the fact that you are in control of how you feel. By directing your thoughts, away from negativity, drama, failure, worry, …. you decide you want to feel good and you WILL start feeling good!
When saying these words: “I want to feel good’, you take action, you take control of your thoughts and feelings and you decide to live here and now, not yesterday, not tomorrow. You can take action where action is needed to change the situation that makes you uncomfortable. If there is nothing you can do about the situation, you let it go because you are determined to not let a situation you have no control over, get you down and you repeat: I want to feel good. Fretting about something that you can do nothing about, gets you nowhere, so the only option, if you want to feel good, is to stop thinking about it. Redirect your thoughts towards things you can do and stop mulling over the things you can’t do anything about.
Now is the only moment you can feel happy, because now is the only moment you are living.
The past is a memory,
the future a mystery,
the present is a gift.**
All you have to do to feel good right now, is saying: ‘I Want to Feel Good’ and do everything in your power to actually start feeling good. You need:
to stop worrying about past and future,
to stop thinking about things you have no control over,
to stop assuming,
to stop the ‘what if’s’, …and just be, here and now.
Look at what is good, what is going well and start from there: you are alive, you have a roof over your head, you have food, … there are a million things in your life you can be grateful for. Look for them and you’ll find them. Write them in a gratitude journal and you’ll be surprised by the amount of good stuff that is happening in your life.
As I’ve said in previous articles: the mind is something you can train. The more you practice positive thinking, the more you will be able to stop your habit of worrying. You can learn to make a clear distinction between: what you need to let go of and what you can actually do something about. The more you practice, the easier it will become. Your default modus will become: can I do something about it? Yes? Okay, I’ll do what I can. No? Okay, I let it go right now. No use going over and over it. I do like the expression:
Let it go, let it God.
Do what you can and then let go of everything else. Do your best and trust that all will be okay. The Universe works with us, it helps us achieve what we want. Only, we need to be very clear about what we DO want because the Universe does not judge, it just hears what we are saying. Repeating over and over again what we do NOT want to happen, aka worrying and creating worst-case scenarios, will tell the Universe that you want more of this because that is what the Universe is hearing. Be very careful about how you speak to yourself, and out loud. Stop beating yourself up, stop talking down on yourself, stop repeating your fears. For example: Saying over and over again that you will never have that dream job, that they will never pick you, that you are not good enough, … that is what the Universe is hearing: they will NOT pick you and that is what you’ll get more of. Another example: I am too fat, I’ll never fit into that dress, I will never lose enough weight, … again the Universe will bring you more to help you NOT losing enough weight. So instead of worrying, and believing you’ll never succeed: say: I want to feel good, I am going to lose weight, here is the plan I am going to follow. You already see yourself weighing less, feeling happier, being healthier. You BELIEVE you will succeed and you already enjoy feeling lighter. That feeling will keep you on track and hearing what you want, the Universe will help you to keep going in the right direction to achieve your goal.
Speak in positive ambitions, let the Universe know what it is you DO want. Then make your plan to achieve it. Keep working towards your goal and stop worrying. Believe you can realize your dream. Know where you are headed. Believe in it, be happy with every inch of progress and let go of the ‘one possible end result’. Just keep moving forward. Enjoy the moment, live in the now, don’t think too far ahead and you’ll be fine. You got this. Stop worrying!
I wish you all a very joyful, worry-less journey! Remember:
Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair:
it keeps you busy but it gets you nowhere.
Thank you all for reading me! I am so grateful for your support, for becoming my follower on Medium and for clapping for my articles.
Author of “Less is Yes!”
*”The Power of Intention” Dr. Wayne W.Dyer
**”The power of Now” Eckhart Tolle