Being happy, being lucky, … is not something that just happens, you have to create the right circumstances to make it possible.
I heard a nice comparison in one of the teachings of Bruno Lallement*:
“If you want a beautiful rose, don’t focus on the rose, focus on the rose bush.”
Make the environment as optimal as possible and the chances to have a ‘beautiful rose‘ will skyrocket.
That’s exactly what goes on in people’s lives too. The more you create circumstances that will enhance your chance of being happy, of being lucky, the greater the possibility of ‘finding’ happiness.
This of course implies that you have to actively do something, and that’s where people tend to object. They see other people succeeding in life, seemingly getting all the breaks one needs, without any setbacks. But that’s where they have it wrong. Nobody gets anything just for free, without putting any effort in it.
The difference is: people who succeed, people who are happy, people who never seem to be down, don’t wait for luck to knock on their door. They know what they want and what they don’t want. They also know that life comes with ups and downs, but they don’t let themselves be defined by it. They continue to create the best circumstances possible to have the life that they envision. That doesn’t mean they don’t fall down from time to time, that doesn’t mean there is no illness, death, or any other losses in their lives. No, they know that life brings us all sorts of stuff and they ‘tend to the rose bush’.
That is my invitation to all of you: no matter where you are in life, create the best possible circumstances to move forward.
First of all, make sure you are in the best possible condition. Take good care of your body and mind**. Make sure you create your inner sanctuary*** where you can go to whenever you feel like it.
Then take a very close look at your life. What does your life look like? What do you like in it? What would you like to go away? Make a list. Yes, here I am again 🙂 asking you to write things down. The thing is, once you’ve written it down, once you see the words on paper, it’s more concrete, it becomes tangible and you can actually create a plan to make changes. The actual writing, manually with pen on paper, makes your brain make connections between your left and right side of your brain. This is even better than typing on a keyboard.
In the list ‘I want less of this’, cancel all you can, delegate all you can, get rid of all you do not need anymore. Be fierce, there is a LOT you do not need in your life. It may not seem so in the beginning, because we are creatures of habit, but try without it and see what happens. Give it some time to get used to this new lifestyle and see how it makes you feel once you’ve become used to this new ‘lighter’ life.
Then look at the list of ‘I like this and would like to have more of this in my life’. Be very conscious about how you fill**** your agenda.
It is true that a lot of things are fun, are nice to have, are interesting, … but you can’t do it all, you can’t read it all (God I wish I could :-)), you can’t go everywhere, … You have to choose. If you make a plan, you can see what you have room for right now, and what you have to postpone till later. That gives you some peace of mind, because you make a conscious choice and that takes some of the pressure off of ‘having to do it all now’. Your FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) will decrease drastically. You learn how to choose some things you like, make them part of your life and ENJOY them fully. If you choose to be less busy, you can finally stop thinking about the next thing you want/need to do. As long as your agenda is full, your head will be full, and there won’t be room to enjoy the present moment. Feeling happy, feeling lucky is all about ‘tending to the rose bush’.
You make sure you are as healthy and as calm as possible. You make sure your energy is not being sucked away by all the too much in your life. You make sure there is room in your life in between things, make sure there is space. Then whatever happens in life, you’ll feel able to handle it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help either. No one said you have to do everything all by yourself. Ask wherever you feel you need help: help with doing chores, help with work stuff, help with realizing plans you would like to see unfold, … no matter what it is. If you feel you could benefit from someone else’s insights, or from someone doing things for you or together with you, ASK them. What is the worst that can happen? Either they say yes, of course! Great! Or they say, sorry I can’t, and they may know someone who might be able to help you even better. Also great!
All I want to say is, create your own life, don’t let things ‘just happen to you’. The more you make sure you create the ‘best possible circumstances’, the more things will happen how you would like them to manifest in your life. Every step in this desired direction, will put you in a new place from where it becomes easier and easier to follow your path. Go step by step towards the life you would like to have. It’s up to you to start paving, stone by stone. Level the earth, remove what is in the way of having your path. Choose the stones you like and pave your path with it. Will you encounter ‘ugly’ stones? Stones that don’t seem to fit in? Of course, and it’s up to you to move forward, it’s up to you to know this too is okay, it’s just a stone, you can navigate around it or over it. Choose again and again what gives you energy, let go of what doesn’t. Walk your path. Look forward. Yes You Can!!!
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*’Resources et Actualisation’ by Bruno Lallement.
**’Self-Care: Vital or Luxury?’ by Katrien Degraeve
***’Feeling Calm = Being’Home’ = Being YOU’ by Katrien Degraeve
****’Adding Pleasure to Your Life, or Burden?’ by Katrien Degraeve