It all comes down to making that decision and then to go from there.

But what do we, mortals, do most in our lives?

Blaming, shaming and complaining!!

We are addicted to feeling bad, we are addicted to blaming other people, we are addicted to complaining! “No, I am not”, I hear you say. “How dare you even insinuate that I like feeling bad”. I didn’t say you liked it perse, but you are addicted to it. We all are or we wouldn’t be doing it all the time. It doesn’t bring any solutions, it solves no problems, it brings no opponents closer to one another, … so why do we do it?

We must be addicted to it.

We must be not willing to take responsibility for our own life, for how we are feeling.

We must be not willing to do the work to change our lives into something we like living.

I like the anecdote dr. Wayne W. Dyer once told in one of his seminars* which is so exemplary to this kind of behavior: His patient was going on and on about everything that was going wrong in her life and that it was all because of her mother this, and because of her mother that, and Dr. Dyer said: okay, the session is over. And the patient was taken aback and said “why, what is going on?” Well, he said, you can leave now and go get your mother. I’ll treat her and then all your problems will be solved.

It is funny when you hear him tell this but it is what most of us are doing all the time too! It’s all because of: my boss, my mother, my partner, my sister, my neighbor, … you name it, and we’ll definitely find somebody else to blame for it!

But it does not solve anything!! On the contrary! We feel even worse! We stay on that low vibrational frequency and we attract** even more unpleasant stuff.

The only way to turn your life around is to MAKE THE DECISION to stop feeling bad!!! It is something you have to consciously do before anything you do, will have a lasting effect on your ‘feeling happier in life’.

This is step 1: make the decision you do not want to feel the way you are feeling, anymore.

Now you can move on from here. You have decided to stop feeling bad.

Step 2: ask yourself what you can do next. You realize it is in your hands as you now understand no one, but you, is able to create YOUR happiness. It’s important to take this step because once you take action, you have created momentum and you can keep going forward, you can keep moving up the vibrational frequencies, changing your feelings bit by bit until you’ve reached the point of happiness. We all know you can’t go from depression to lasting happiness in one day. That is a leap that is too big to take in one step. You chose the next best feeling. This puts you in a different emotional place and you’ll feel yourself getting stronger and stronger to handle your life. The stronger you feel, the more you’ll be able to do the necessary things to create your own happiness. This getting stronger is a process, you go step by step towards a place where you start taking your life into your own hands? Jerry and Esther Hicks*** developed a scale of 22 frequencies with the corresponding feeling(s). Every time you climb to the next level, you feel better, you’ll feel more able to take action. Here is their list: from top to bottom, top level being the highest frequency, the high energy feelings.

Joy, Appreciation, Empowerment, Freedom



Belief, positive expectation






Frustration, irritation, impatience











Insecurity, guilt, unworthiness

Fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness

When you’re on one of those low vibrational frequencies, it may seem impossible to ever reach happiness but it’s already a step in the right direction if you can just go to the next frequency like for instance you go from feeling jealousy to feeling hate. This might sound very strange and this is no advocating for feeling hateful, no. All they are saying is, that when you go up the scale, you feel less and less a victim and you feel more and more empowered to take action. You go from ‘passive being’ towards ‘active doing’, from being lived by the circumstances to consciously living your life.  Taking action is necessary to feel stronger and the stronger you feel, the more you will be taking life into your own hands and that is what you need! When you are not happy with the way you feel in life, you need to take action to go to that next level and to feel better and better in life. It’s by taking action that you’ll be able to make changes in your life. It’s like with the old radios: when you wanted to change the radio station, you had to turn the switch in order to change the frequency and hear a different radio station. (If you don’t know what I am talking about, you must be a lot younger than I am :-), and never had that kind of radio in your house). You had to take action and turn that knob.

Anyway, all I wanted to say is:

whenever you feel unhappy with what is going on in your life, no amount of complaining, blaming or shaming will ever change the situation for the better.

It is up to you to evaluate what is upsetting you, it is up to you to decide you want to feel differently in life, it is up to you to take action so that things do change in your life.

You can only have different results in life when you actually start doing things differently in your life.

This is what I want all of you, who are feeling unhappy in life, to do:

Decide now, in this very moment, you’re are done feeling this way.

Write down how you want to feel.

Make a list of the changes you are going to make.

Start with one thing and see if it makes you feel better. If it does, perfect! Keep going.

If not, change another thing in your life until you feel how you want to feel.

Remember, you did not go to the way you are feeling right now overnight, so be patient and go step by step towards how you want to feel!

You CAN do it and ONLY you can do it.

Good luck!!!!


Author of “Less is Yes!” 




* The wit and wisdom of dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Hay House Audio

** Law of Attraction Series by Esther and Jerry Hicks

*** Ask and it is given. By Esther and Jerry Hicks

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