Never. Maybe you felt better for a brief, self-righteous moment, but then, afterwards, we feel empty, low in energy and alone. Then why do we keep judging everyone and everything, including ourselves?

“Judgment prevents us from seeing the beauty beyond appearances*”.

Why don’t we try to see beauty everywhere, by letting go of all the judging we are doing every day?

Let’s have a look at why we judge and what we are actually doing when we are judging. We all do it, so it must be something inherent to all humans. Animals don’t judge, flowers don’t judge: they let their beauty shine for everyone to see.

We judge out of …. fear! Fear of not being good enough, of not being strong enough, of not being smart enough, of not being beautiful enough, of not being …enough. That makes us feel separated and alone. We feel unsafe and we live in constant fear. It may not feel that way to you now, but when you become quiet and look inside and really take a good look at how you feel when you are judging, you will see a wound, a wound because you were at a certain point in your life separated from love. You feel the fear that is caused by that wound. Nobody who is happy and complete, judges. So even the most minor form of judging stems from a wound, a shadow, a shame inside ourselves. We judge because we, subconsciously, believe, we then, won’t feel our pain…

Let me explain.

We are all born from love, our nature is love and we are all connected in this oneness called Love. One day, in most cases when we were still a child, somebody told us we were not good enough and we felt separated from love. We felt alone, we felt disconnected from love. This disconnection made us feel unsafe and the fear was installed…Not only people who have been made to feel as though they were not enough, but also people who have been told they were better than other people, they too, start to feel separated, and so they too are disconnected from love, they too feel alone and they too start to feel fear. The problem is being disconnected, being separated from love and that is why we start judging.

The only solution to stop judging is to learn where this need for judging originated. Once you understand that you are judging because you feel fear, because you feel disconnected from love, you will be willing to learn to return to love. Once we return to love, we feel connected, we do not feel alone anymore, we feel enough, and the judging stops.

Knowing how much damage judging, gossiping, …. causes, I think we all agree that it is time for a ‘Judgment Detox’**

As we experienced separation from love at some point in our life, we -our ego- started looking for a defense mechanism to protect us from the pain that this fear is causing. Our ego believes the only way to conquer this fear, the only way to ‘protect’ us, the only way to feel good about ourselves, is by attacking and counter attacking through judging. But that is a false belief, as we can only heal when we return to love. By listening to our ego and believing that judging and attacking, is the only way to feel better, we end up feeling even more alone, we feel depleted, we feel empty, because we are far away from love.

As the ego makes us believe that we are separate, we maintain a false perception of ourself so that we can exist in this world of separation. We project this onto others, through judging. But after a first ‘high’, a first feeling of self-righteousness, we feel low, we feel alone. We ‘know’ that is not who we really are and we feel shame and guilt. And we start judging ourselves because of it. This becomes a vicious circle. Judging, guilt, more judging, more guilt. So, we need to actively break this circle in order to heal, to feel whole, to feel connected again, to return to love.

When we are courageous enough to stop and look for the real reason we are judging, we will see that we are in fact, not judging others, but that we are judging the very thing we dislike in ourselves. Again, we fear not being enough and by attacking what we see lacking in others, we temporary feel better about ourselves. But it wears off quickly and then there is the shame and the guilt again.

So now that we know, that it is our ego trying to protect us, although with the wrong means, we know, we can heal ourselves, we can stop this vicious circle. All we have to do is, become aware of why (our fear) we think and say these thoughts. Once we are conscious about it, we can accept that we think those thoughts and therefore we do not judge ourselves any longer for having those thoughts. The most important thing is, we do NOT believe these judging thoughts anymore. They come up, we realize what triggered them, we look at the other person (or ourselves) with love, with compassion. We return to love! We realize we all live in fear, we all feel alone, we all have our wounds. When you feel compassion, you cannot judge anymore. One excludes the other! That’s the solution for the problem of judging.

The problem originates in the separation of love.

The answer is to return to love!

My invitation for you all is:

Be brave.

Become quiet.

Look at your wounds.

See your ‘judging’ as a consequence from this separation of love.

Return to love!

As we see how much hurt is caused by judging, attacking, gossiping, … I truly believe it is worth taking a close look at ourselves and start healing. As I wrote last week***, we are all connected, so when we move to a higher vibrational frequency, the frequency of compassion, of love, we radiate this to the ones around us. Every positive vibe, every act of kindness has a ripple effect on the world. So, ultimately, we are not only healing ourselves by returning to love, but we are healing the world too.

Thank you all for reading me and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles and many other authors, you can become a Medium Member by clicking on this link and you’ll be supporting me directly (and all the other authors indirectly). Many, many thanks to you all!!!


*Affirmation in the Morning Meditations by dr. Wayne D. Dyer.

**’Judgment Detox.’ by Gabrielle Bernstein.

***’We are all interconnected, we are all ‘One’.’ Medium article by Katrien Degraeve.











*Affirmation in the Morning Meditations by dr. Wayne D. Dyer.

**’Judgment Detox.’ by Gabrielle Bernstein.

***’We are all interconnected,

Share This