Back in 1863, president Abraham Lincoln, decided to create a new national holiday, Thanksgiving, so that people had the time to stand still for a moment to see, and appreciate, all that they had in life. He chose the 4th Thursday of November for it. Farmers had finished harvesting by then, and so they had time to participate in the festivities too. Also was it a perfect timing to say Thank You, as they had just collected their crops, and thus had something extra to be grateful for.
With Thanksgiving coming up, me too, I gave some extra thought about the simple act of saying ‘thank you’ and what it means in our lives.
How many times do you actually say ‘thank you’ and mean it from the bottom of your heart, instead of it being an automatic response?
We are so trained to say thank you in certain situations, that it has become more of an expected response, rather than it being an expression of real gratitude from the receiver. I invite you to be mindful whenever you say ‘thank you’. Think about why you are grateful, feel grateful and utter the words with all your real feelings in it.
How many times do you forget to say ‘thank you’, even when there is a lot to be grateful for?
So many things are done for us, so many people make our life so much easier, and we never even think about it, let alone, express our appreciation for it. Become aware, remind yourself to actually see the people in your life. Let them know how grateful you are for them, and for all the things they do.
Why do you sometimes feel awkward saying ‘thank you’ out loud for something that feels so trivial to say ‘thank you’ for?
Before being consciously grateful for all the things in my life, before having no trouble to say ‘thank you’ out loud to whomever and whenever I felt real gratitude, there was often a certain hesitance from my part to speak up. Because very often, people don’t know how to react when somebody expresses their gratitude towards them. People make their contribution smaller, or even dismiss it completely. Instead of saying that it is nice to hear this appreciation, most of the times they say something like ‘oh, it was no bother at all’, ‘oh, no worries’, ‘oh well, it was nothing really’, … and then we both end up feeling awkward. Why don’t we try to accept gratitude as it is offered from the heart, and say ‘oh, you’re very welcome’, ‘it was my pleasure’, ‘anytime’, … and see how that feels. I am sure both parties will feel seen, heard and appreciated.
Do you actually take the time to reflect on all there is in your life?
I don’t believe people intentionally do not say thank you. I think it is just one of the things that slip through the net of hurry, of too much, of not being present. I therefor invite you all to take some time to reflect. The best thing you can do, is make a habit of it. As I have written* in previous articles here on Medium, choose your moment each day, make a ritual of becoming still for a moment. Write down, every day, what you are grateful for, and see what happens.
A lot has been written on the subject, and the general conclusion is that, the more people feel grateful, the happier they are.
The more people stand still and reflect upon what they have, the more people appreciate their life, their friends, their family, their health, their job, … the happier they are.
That doesn’t mean they are necessarily rich, or are in perfect health, no, they just appreciate what they have, and that makes all the difference in the world.
“It is not happy people that are grateful,
It’s grateful people that are happy.
It may sound cliché, or cheesy, but it is a fact** that the more you are grateful, the more things you will experience to be grateful for.
I invite you all to try it. Start with one day.
Look at everyone and everything with a mindset of gratitude. Write down in the evening how it went. See how you feel when, instead of being annoyed, instead of being suspicious that everyone is out there to get you, you just relax, and believe that they mean no harm, believe that they do the best they can, believe that we are all in this together.
Seeing the things in your life as something positive, makes you feel more content.
Believing that everyone is doing the best they can, makes you more relaxed.
Looking at the world around you from a place of trust, makes you feel better.
The higher the vibrational frequency you’re living on, the more ‘good’ things will come along, the more beauty and positivity you will experience.
As I said, try it. It’s not something that comes natural for most of us.
It’s a matter of wanting to see good. You have to train*** your mind to be willing to see good. It’s choosing what you focus on. It’s like the exercise people often do with crowds, when wanting to show them that you can steer what you notice and what not, simply by focusing. You ask people to look around for all the red objects in the room. You then make them close their eyes and make them name all the blue objects they saw. They are flabbergasted, because, as they didn’t pay attention to any blue objects, they can hardly name any.
And that is exactly what goes on in your day-to-day life.
If you do not look for positive things in life, if you do not choose to interpret things in the best possible way, you will not see ‘good’ things happening. You will feel there is nothing to be grateful for in life. And that really is too bad, as there always is, and always will be good things happening.
I came upon these few lines by Mindful Wellness in my Substack App:
A wise man once said:
Hate has 4 letters, but so does Love.
Enemies has 7 letters, but so does Friends.
Lying has 5 letters, but so does Truth.
Cry has 3 letters, but so does Joy.
Negativity has 10 letters, but so does Positivity.
Life is 2 sided.
Choose the better side of it.
I thought it was a perfect example of what I am trying to say here.
Do not wait for Thanksgiving to show gratitude.
Do not focus for only one day, on how lucky you are.
Make it a habit.
Start every day, waking up with saying: Thank You.
Go through your day, noticing all the things that make your day a little more bearable, a little more joyful. Be grateful for all you get to experience:
The sun coming up.
A birdsong.
A nice hot coffee.
Someone giving you a smile.
A parking spot available just when you needed one.
Good news in your inbox.
A friendly word.
…
No matter what it is, big or small, choose to look at the beauty of it.
Cherish the moment, say Thank You.
And at the end of the day*:
Reflect upon all that was good today and go to sleep with a last ‘Thank You’ for the day.
My invitation to you all is:
Keep an open mind.
Try it.
The more you practice it, the easier it becomes.
Keep it up and see how you feel after a day, a week, a month, …of looking for good things and saying thank you for them.
Thank you all for reading me, and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles, and of many other authors, you can become a Medium Member. You’ll be supporting me and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*”Night Time: Sweet Dreams, or Waking Hours”, by Katrien Degraeve.
**”Ask and It is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks.
***”The Trouble is , it’s All up to Us. The Good Thing is, it’s All up to Us.” By Katrien Degraeve