I would like to start with this quote from Blaise Pascal:
“All of humanity’s problems stem
from man’s inability
to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Most of us:
are afraid of silence.
can’t be by themselves, spend time alone, anymore.
can’t rest, do nothing, sit and just be, anymore.
can’t focus anymore,
are overstimulated.
are overwhelmed.
are tired to the bone.
And still, ….
We don’t stop, we don’t rest, we go on and on.
Why?
What will it take to finally realize,
we need rest,
we need peace of mind,
we need stillness,
we need to stop ‘doing’ all the time.
Even when
we get sick,
we get burned out,
we get irritated and frustrated,
…
we never really look for the cause of it all.
And it’s there, right in front of our noses, it’s all too much!
We own too much, we do too much, there is too much noise, around us and in our heads, there is too much input, too much stimuli.
We are always ‘ON’, never ‘OFF’.
I have been writing about working towards ‘being more’ instead of ‘doing more’, about the importance of silence, … for some time now, and I still believe this to be absolutely essential for our health, for our happiness, for our well-being, and ultimately for a better world.
If you know that, on a daily basis:
the average time spent on social media is 2 hours 24 minutes,
the average time spent watching television is 5 hours,
and that we check our phones at least about 144 times per day.
Does it seem odd to you then,
that you have no time left for meaningful things?
that you can’t find inner peace?
that you feel overwhelmed?
that it all feels as too much?
I think it is mind blowing how much time we waste per day with focusing on rubbish, with focusing on gossip, and on all other meaningless stuff.
We all go on and on about the fact that we do not have enough time for our hobbies, for our family and friends, to practice sports, to learn new skills, ….
But be honest with yourself, and look at how you actually spend your day. We all have 24 hours and it is up to us to fill them with what we choose to do.
Put all that you did per day, for a whole week, on paper and be brutally honest.
You’ll be flabbergasted by the amount of wasteful and futile activities there will be appearing on your paper.
Change this now.
Take back control over your activities, over your life.
I refer to my article* about morning routines, and urge you all to start taking slow mornings. Yes, yes, I hear you, you are already running late every morning as it is. I don’t mean that you need to spend hours of meditating, or walking outside, or doing yoga, no.
Of course, you can if you feel like it, please do, but for everybody who is rushing through their mornings, I ask you to just try this more peaceful start of your day.
All I need you to do is:
Be mindful when you wake up.
Say ‘Thank you’ for this new day.
Take a few deep breaths.
Stretch before you get out of bed.
This takes no more than a few minutes and will give you more energy and will take less time, than hitting the snooze button….
Enjoy your shower, do not start thinking ahead yet, just let the water flow over your body and relax. This will take no extra time out of your schedule.
For anyone with children, these are all things you can do before they wake up. I always made sure I started the day before everyone else was awake. That way, you get your slow start, and you are ready to face all that is coming your way the moment they are awake.
Have breakfast, or drink a cup of coffee or tea without checking your phone or listening to the news. Listen to the quiet, to some classical music, or to some spiritual and inspiring text**. Again, you need no extra time for this.
I realize that with a whole family present at the breakfast table, this might be challenging, but not listening to the news and not checking your phone will benefit everyone. You’ll notice that, with less distractions, you will actually see each other, there will be room for conversation. Or room for silence when you have teenagers at the table. 🙂 This more peaceful start of the day will benefit them too.
When you go off to work, try an inspiring podcast or some classical music, instead of being hit by all the fear-inducing and disaster-pregnant news on your way to work. Again, no extra time needed.
You’ll notice that, when you intentionally start the day, instead of letting yourself be sucked in, in other people’s agenda’s, you‘ll feel more calmness, more in control, and more ready than ever, to start your day.
Because of your calm and not overstimulated mind, you’ll be able to focus better, to see solutions, to be more tolerant.
All this without needing extra time in your full schedule.
Then there is this next, important, step I advise you all to take.
Define what matters.
Instead of jumping in, head first, into anything that you think you need to do, consider first:
Is it urgent?
Is it necessary?
Be very aware of what you do, and why you’re doing it.
Make sure it’s really helping you moving towards what you want to realize. Make sure you know why your day is filled with what is on your agenda.
When you’re writing down what you did today, be critical and define what was what. No judgement, just be honest and willing to change.
Notice the difference between what was useful, what was necessary and what was not. Then take steps to change what is on your schedule.
Make sure there is enough room for quiet time, for resting.
Know the difference between distractions and rest.
When you feel tired, make sure you rest, and not fill your mind with stuff.
Not working is not the same as resting.
Scrolling on your phone is input, not resting.
Watching television is not resting. I do agree that watching a nature documentary is more relaxing than watching a nail-biting thriller but it is still input.
Reading a book, going for a walk with your dog, … is more relaxing than all the “screen stuff”.
Don’t be afraid of silence.
Don’t be afraid of doing nothing.
I hereby refer to another one of my articles*** about having an evening ritual, and to my latest**** one about how to steer your mind the last minutes before you go to bed.
You do not need more time, we all have 24 hours, not more, not less.
You need to spend your time more mindful.
The more you learn to feel comfortable not ‘doing’ all the time,
the more you’ll enjoy silence, and the less you’ll feel that you don’t have enough time.
Try it out for a couple of weeks and notice the difference.
Notice the calmness that will come over you.
Notice the compassion and love you will start to feel.
Notice how you will feel happy without any specific reason.
Notice how easy you will be able to feel grateful.
Notice how you’ll feel less and less FOMO.
And that is what I wish for all of you: a quiet, peaceful mind that will bring a feeling of contentment and happiness to you.
Practice this, and you’ll feel stress ebbing away, you’ll feel your health improving, you’ll sleep better, you’ll be better rested in the morning. In short, you’ll feel great.
Enjoy creating your new routines, your new life.
Thank you all for reading me, and for supporting me on Medium. If you want unlimited access to all of my articles, and of many other authors, you can become a Medium Member. You’ll be supporting me and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*”Happy Mornings, Happy Days. Happy Days, Happy Life”. by Katrien Degraeve.
**”Empower You” app or other inspiring apps.
***”Night Time: Sweet Dreams or Waking Hours?” by Katrien Degraeve.
****”Last Few Minutes before you Doze off” by Katrien Degraeve.