Why do we feel hatred? What stops us from liking people, from agreeing with people?
Do we actually know the people we hate? Do we make an effort to connect with them, to communicate with them? Or do we get so lost in our hatred towards them, that we believe we’re 100% right and they are 100% wrong?
Studies* show that we hate because we have this need to connect, and we connect with people who hate the same things, who hate the same people. This mutual hatred seems to create a bond BUT that is not a real bond, as we only agree with one another on something without actually challenging what we believe, without getting to the bottom of what we believe is right or wrong. That is where the danger lies. We reinforce what we believe to be true, and therefor believe have the right to hate. But let’s take a closer look. As the saying goes:
“The best way to get rid of an enemy, is by making a friend out of him/her.”
What if we take a closer look at who it is we seem to hate so much.
What if we should start looking at who we despise, with curiosity, with critical thinking, with compassion, with love.
Yes, that is possible. The moment we stop seeing ourselves as an individual person, as someone not connected to all, that’s when it becomes so much easier to start seeing each other as all parts of the Whole. We are all one. We all come from the same Source called Love. Loose the illusion of being separate beings. We’re in this together.
So, whenever you feel hatred, ask yourself:
Why am I doing this?
Isn’t there any possibility to see eye to eye with one another?
Do I really know and understand this person?
Is it my ego that is telling me I am right?
Is my ego preventing me from getting to know the other person, from asking how they see things?
What is it that I am fearing?
What can I learn here?
I love how dr. Wayne Dyer spells out the letters from the word EGO as Edging God Out. Don’ t edge God out, don’t edge Love out. There are only 2 forces in life, according to Anita Moorjani**: Love and Fear. Once you let love guide all of your actions, you’ll find yourself living a whole other life. A life full of joy and connection. A life void of fear.
The moment we are genuinely interested in the other person’s point of view, in their way of seeing things, we let go of our belief that we are 100% right and they are 100% wrong. The moment we start asking questions, the moment we let them explain, is the moment we get to know them better. And when you get to know somebody, when you start seeing them as another human being, as someone who is more like you than you ever have envisioned before, you stop hating. You can still have different opinions, you can still have different beliefs, but you can stop hating. You can stop hating because you also see what you have in common. You start looking from a place of Love. You stop living from a place of fear, fear of the unknown. When looking from a place of love, you see the things you have in common and that reassures you. You now see that you are both human beings, you are both men/women, you are both sons/ daughters, you both have families, friends, pets, maybe even the same hobbies. You may even like the same foods, books, sports, … no matter what it is you have in common you start seeing the other person as the person he/she is and not only what you disagree on. Once you get to know the other person as a person, you stop hating. Look for as much things you have in common as possible and the thing you disagree on, the very thing that made you hate, will become less important. I am not saying you need to agree on that issue, but agree to disagree and stop the hatred.
The better you know someone, the higher the chances you can see that person as a friend. The more you respect each other, the easier it will be to live together, to work together, to exist together on this planet. As I have written many times before***, the higher the vibrational frequency you live on, the happier you’ll feel, the easier life will be, the more you’ll radiate love, friendship, compassion, … The more you stay on that high frequency, the more you’ll attract things, people, who also radiate on that same frequency. Hatred vibrates on a very low frequency, far away from the frequency of feeling good. The same goes here: you’ll also attract what is vibrating there, you’ll attract more of that negativity. Hatred makes you sick. It literally does. “Hate is like drinking poison and hoping the other one will die.”
It’s in every one’s best interest to get rid of all that is holding you back to be happy in life. The more you can get rid of hatred, the better you’ll feel, the healthier you’ll be, the more joy you’ll feel, the more you’ll be surrounded by happy people.
I would like to end this blog with a mantra I learned from Rachel Macy Stafford****:
“Only Love Today”.
No matter what happens today, no matter what obstacles you meet today, before you react, ask yourself: “How would Love handle this?” And you’ll immediately feel a lot calmer and that will make you react in a kinder way. That is how you can live a happy, peaceful, joyful life! Only Love Today!
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As I advise and write about in many of my articles: to unplug, to return to nature, to get rested, is of vital importance to remain healthy mentally, physically and emotionally. That is why I won’t be publishing the coming month as I am going on a family vacation. We’ll be enjoying nature, each other, doing nothing, reading, being silent, cooking and eating our meals together….everything that nourishes body and soul.
For those who are also going on a holiday, ENJOY! And for those who are not, try to find some moments to relax, to become silent too. Bless you all.
Katrien
*”Atlas of the Heart”, by Brené Brown.
**”What if This is Heaven?”,” Dying to Be Me”, “Sensitivity is the New Strong.”, by Anita Moorjani.
***”Ask and It is Given”, “The Vortex, where the law of attraction assembles all cooperative relationships.” By Esther and Jerry Hicks.
**** “Only Love Today, Reminders to Breathe More, Stress Less and Choose Love.” By Rachel Macy Stafford.