To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to do the best you can.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forgive the mistakes of the past
and press on to greater achievements in the present.
To wear a friendly countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too focused for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too at peace to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
Poem excerpt by Christian D. Larson
This poem excerpt was hanging on the refrigerator of Marc Chernoff’s grandmother all her life and was an inspiration for Marc from a young age on. Marc and his wife Angel Chernoff* are authors of several bestselling books, and have been coaching thousands and thousands of people. I was one of the lucky ones to have been coached by them and I have been following them ever since. They inspire me daily to send out a positive message of love, kindness, and to teach people to take their lives back into their own hands.
Happiness is a choice.
Happiness is something you need to want in your life.
Most of the time when I say these words, I almost get lynched so to speak.
Unhappy people refuse to accept these words.
Frustrated people refuse to take responsibility for their own happiness.
Insecure people believe that life happens to them and that they have no say in it.
I know that, for some people, life throws them such a big curveball, one wonders how they can ever recover from this. But here is where it gets interesting: some can and some can’t independent of how big the trauma was. So wherein lies the secret?
The secret lies in: choosing to invite happiness back into your life, choosing that you want to feel better again, believing that you will feel better again.
Marc and Angel teach this so beautifully in their course “Getting Back to Happy”. They write in one of the first pages of their book* that
“We suffer far longer than we have to…”
Waw, that’s something to read twice, don’t you agree? Why would we do that? Why would we suffer longer than we need to? We suffer longer than we have to, because most of us still think that life happens to us and that it is out of our hands. Most of us go through life believing that no matter what we do, we can’t stop things from happening to us. And yes, that is partly true. Unfortunate things will occur in our lives: we will get ill, we will lose people, we will get stolen from, we will have things in our lives we wish were different… But, as long as we choose to move through them, we will be all right. Even in the darkest hours, we can decide to develop small rituals to get through the day. Having these daily rituals will give us something to focus on, something other than what happened in our life.
Creating daily rituals is what creates your life.
By doing these things on a daily basis, you are creating the life you desire. These rituals can be anything. No matter what domain you need changes in, no matter if you need big changes or small ones. Everything is possible as long as you believe you can make the change.
First make sure you know what it is you want to change in your life: what is not feeling great, what makes you feel unhappy, what is draining you, what would you like to see working out differently in your life?
Do you want to be in better shape?
Do you want to be more tolerant?
Do you want to eat healthier?
Do you want to be less angry all the time?
Do you want to sleep better?
Do you want to enjoy your job more?
Do you to feel more relaxed?
Do you want to feel less burdened?
Define what it is you want to change in your life. If you have multiple things on your list, that’s okay. Start with one item. Create a daily ritual to make that change happen. Do this or at least 60 consecutive days. You’ll see that it becomes a new habit. Once it is embedded in your daily routine, dive deeper into making the change complete or if the change is already satisfying, pick another item you want to change and do the same. Continue to do this until you feel happy with how you are living your life.
We are what we do on a daily basis.
That is where the secret lies: by doing tiny things daily:
we can change our habits,
we can change how we feel,
we can live the life we desire.
I invite you all to:
Write down what is really making you feel unhappy, frustrated, down, tired, …
Pick one item.
Think about how you would want that part of your life to look like. Picture it.
Feel how it would feel if it was already manifested in your life. This will motivate you to get started.
Start small. Do one thing daily to start living like that: for instance:
Eat one piece of fruit, one portion of vegetables if you want to change your diet into a healthier one.
Drink one glass of alcohol only on weekends instead of having a drink every night, if you want to cut back on consuming alcohol.
Walk the stairs instead of taking the elevator if you want to have more ‘daily steps on your step counter’.
Set an alarm to go TO bed and actually do it, if you want to sleep better.
Enter your workplace with a smile on your face and genuinely wish your co-workers a good-morning from your heart, if you want a better atmosphere in the office.
Think compassionately every time you feel frustration arise, imagine that person going through a rough day, having their own struggles if you want to be more forgiving and tolerant.
Say a mantra, repeat positive affirmations to redirect your thoughts whenever you feel you’re slipping back in to that vicious circle of negative thoughts if you want to feel happier.
No matter what it is you want to take on to start having a better life, first of all, know that it is in your hands and then create a small daily ritual and keep doing it. Add another ritual once you accustomed yourself with the first one until you are living the life you pictured. This is your (and the only) way to achieve it!
All you can steer** is what YOU think, how YOU feel, what you DO. It really is up to you.
Start with wanting to feel better, believing you can and then do your daily rituals.
Thank you all for reading me and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles and many other authors, you can become a Medium Member by clicking on this link https://lifecoachwomen.com/membership and you’ll be supporting me directly (and all the other authors indirectly). Many, many thanks to you all!!!
*” Getting Back To Happy”, “1000+ Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”, “Think better, Live better live events” and many more by Marc and Angel Chernoff.
**” Stop Blaming Others for What Happens in Your Life” Medium article by Katrien Degraeve