In “Excuses Begone, part 3” dr. Wayne W. Dyer* writes this quote of Carl Jung. The first time I read it, I found it a bit disturbing, so I read it again, and again.
Our most important problems cannot be solved?
I was intrigued.
How come?
Most of our problems, most of our life-issues, originate from our old thinking habits. I’ve written many articles** about the subconscious mind, and how it triggers 95% of all our (re-)actions. And here is where the root of our most important problems lies, in our subconscious mind.
We have a whole filing cabinet of experiences, of lessons we’ve been taught, of comments we have heard, … and all of that sculpted our subconscious mind, and made us who we think we are today.
And yes, I write, who we think we are. Because our thoughts about ourselves, is about who we believe we are, about what we believe we are capable of, and this is not necessarily who we actually are, nor who we can become.
What we think are just beliefs. And beliefs can be changed, can become outgrown.
Some of those thoughts will still resonate with how we want to live our lives today, so of course, I urge you to keep those.
But a lot of our beliefs, and especially those about the most important issues (we are still fighting every day), will hold us back.
For instance, if you keep believing that:
you’re not good enough,
you can’t lose weight,
you are shy,
you are not good at learning languages,
you are not good at sports,
you will never have enough money,
nobody loves you,
….
You’ll never be able to fix this.
You have to outgrow these old beliefs.
You have to consciously change your thoughts so that you can change your life.
I already hear a lot of you saying: no, no, I can’t, you don’t know my situation, I can’t…., that is absolutely impossible.
But those are just beliefs, and our beliefs are our excuses.
Dr. Wayne Dyer makes a beautiful comparison, to show us how huge things are possible for everyone: “an acorn is just a tiny seed, a little nut that can’t produce anything, and yet, an infinity of forests lies dormant within the dreams of one acorn.”
An infinity of manifestations lies dormant within us,
we just have to get past the dormancy of our old thinking.
We have to stop believing those old thoughts, those old truths.
As long as we keep believing them, ‘proof’ will keep showing up that they are true.
In his book “Excuses Begone”, dr. Dyer describes 7 ideas to help us eliminate our excuses.
Only when we start believing we are capable of change, capable of doing and learning new things, things that everybody, including ourselves, kept saying, were impossible, only then, is change possible. We have to start stepping away from defending, and justifying, why we can’t outgrow our problems.
So here are the 7 core ideas dr. Dyer describes, to get rid of our old excuses.
1) Remove any and all labels.
As long as you keep saying, and believing, you’re not capable of whatever it is you think you’re incapable of, you will always be incapable. The moment you open yourself up to the possibility that for instance, you might be able to lose weight, the most important step has been taken. As long as you believe you can, and then make the necessary adjustments to your way of eating and living, then there is absolutely nothing holding you back anymore. Stop using labels. Believe you can. And once you believe it, once you start acting according to this new belief, a whole new ‘truth’ will become visible.
2) Converse with your subconscious mind.
The moment you feel yourself acting, or reacting, in line with one of your old beliefs again, become aware of what is happening. Stop for a second and breathe, think. Stop believing that for instance, you are an impatient person. Whenever there is a situation in which you feel yourself flying of the handle again, become very aware of it. You do not have to believe that old ‘truth’ anymore. You can stop this behavior. Talk to your ‘old belief’. Say, hello, I recognize you, I used to believe that this was the only reaction possible, but I believe something different now. I know I can stay calm. I know I can stop for a second and regroup my thoughts so that I can react in a kinder way. Do not allow yourself any longer to be a victim of old beliefs. Know that you also have your conscious mind. You can choose what to believe and what not, hence how to react and how not to react.
3) Begin the practice of mindfulness.
Practice making conscious of what you are doing unconsciously. Dr. Wayne describes the example of always looking for his keys, and I think a lot of us can relate to this :-). As long as we subconsciously just leave them somewhere, because we are distracted or busy doing other stuff when we come home, we will keep looking for them whenever we need them. The moment we start making a conscious effort every time we come home, to put our keys in the same place, every time, we will never have to look for them again. It is a matter of being conscious. You are not forgetful or whatever you make yourself believe you are, you just have to make an unconscious act, conscious.
4) Commit to overcoming your inertia.
As I said before, you have been believing all of your excuses your whole life, because you thought they were true. So now you have to make an agreement with yourself that you want to change. And in order to change you’ll have to get rid of those old companions, your lies, your excuses. And they are present, oh yes, they are: “I don’t have time, I can’t, I am no good at this, I need to do something else first, People expect me to do this or that, … “They wear many jackets, and you have to consciously recognize them. But once you are committed to your new self, committed to how you want to be, you can let go of them and say: ‘yes, I can, I am starting right now, I commit to changing into the person I always dreamt of being but thought was never possible. Now I know it is possible, and, I am starting right now.’ This is you, taking the first step towards the new you, this is honoring the commitment to yourself.
5) Use the power of affirmations.
Make your whole life an affirmation of what, and how, you want to live, of whom you want to become. If you want to be a loving, grateful person, if you want to be a kind person, make your home a warm, loving place. Read books about love, about respect, about friendship. Watch beautiful, kind programs. Appreciate all the beauty nature is giving us, day after day. The more you affirm what you want to become, the easier it will be to believe that this is possible. Live in the energy you want to feel.
6) Live in a helpful, supportive Universe.
Decide what Universe you live in. Do you believe the world is kind and supportive? Or do you believe we live in a hostile, harsh world? The world will remain the world, but the way you see it, will affect what you receive. You get what you think about. So, it’s up to you. The more you see a helpful, kind community, the more you will receive kindness. As long as you believe everyone is out there to get you, you will experience a lot of ‘bad luck’ and ‘nasty people’.
7) Don’t complain, don’t explain.
Complaining puts the power and responsibility of how you feel, in someone else’s hands. Explaining is wanting to be right, is getting away from your spiritual side. When you keep explaining, you keep being focused on the doubts that other people, and maybe even still you, have about your new beliefs. Stop complaining and explaining and your excuses will stop popping up.
These words, this wisdom, are all things I have learned from dr. Wayne Dyer. I like to recommend to all of you, from the bottom of my heart and soul, to read his books, to watch his films, tapes, … he is such an inspiration who was also inspired by the great teachers. And as Lao Tzu said:
“If you correct your mind,
the rest of your life will fall into place.”
Thank you all for reading me, and for supporting me on Medium. If you want unlimited access to all of my articles, and of many other authors, you can become a Medium Member. You’ll be supporting me and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*” Excuses Begone” and many, many more books and teachings by dr. Wayne W. Dyer.
** Medium Articles by Katrien Degraeve.