It’s this time of year again.
The leaves are changing color, still holding on, but not for long anymore. One storm, and the trees will let them go.
It all feels so natural, a little sad maybe, but still, we accept this season. A feeling of melancholy often creeps up on me, but again, it is the way it is and always will be.
After summer comes fall and nature prepares for winter, for rest, for healing, to rebirth again in spring.
Then why do the stages of life feel so hard on a personal level?
Why do we have so much trouble accepting the next stage in life?
Why?
It’s all normal, it’s all natural and still, it hurts so much to let go of the old season, of this phase in life.
Why?
Are we afraid of the unknown?
Are we afraid of losing who (we think) we are?
Why don’t we rephrase this fear and think of it as opportunities?
What if we can see the season to come as a new adventure?
What if we could see the advantages of letting go the previous season in life? Less responsibilities, less stress, less running around, less having to prove ourselves…
We can accept all that we feel and then choose to let those feelings rest and create new ones.
This is how I try to perceive the empty nest and try to make peace with it.
I sometimes feel sad, feel useless, feel lonely, … but at the end of the day, we choose how we want to feel.
So, I have decided to feel happy, to feel content, to feel useful, to feel as if I get to choose how I go through life from now on.
We, as parents, will always be around for our children, we will always support them, but it’s on another level from now on. It’s not about the day-to-day struggles and hassles anymore, which in return gives us more freedom and space.
And that freedom and space is there to be filled with what makes us feel content, with what makes us grow into our next season in life.
Every time I feel sadness coming up, I picture all that I have time for now, which I did not have when they were younger.
And that is how I think one should navigate life and all seasons in life.
Every phase has its advantages and disadvantages.
If we learn to see the beauty of every different stage in our lives, we can always make ourselves feel happy and content.
As I have written many, many times before, we choose how we feel by steering our thoughts in the direction needed in order to be able to see the good in every situation.
Steering our thoughts in the direction of being grateful is always a sure path to happiness.
Even though there are times that life seems hard, there is always something, no matter how small, that we can feel grateful for.
And then there are other times when it is easy to see the good and feel grateful.
Life is always in motion. All things are moving in wave-like motions, up and down.
Knowing this makes it easier to accept the down parts, because you know, after every down-movement, comes an upward movement.
“This too shall pass”, works for everything in life. Good and bad.
Knowing this, reassures us, that nothing is permanent, and that there is always new and good stuff ahead.
My invitation to you all this week is:
Practice steering* your thoughts.
Practice your belief that, there is always good things coming your way again, even after what feels like misfortune.
Practice gratitude for what you have.
The following saying by Augustinus van Hippo** is a really good reminder for this:
“Happiness is to keep on longing for what you already have”
Belief that you are the one responsible for how you feel.
Know what you want and then do everything to make it happen.
And never forget to enjoy the present moment, even though it might not feel perfect, it’s a moment that will never return, so make the most of it.
Thank you all for reading me, and for supporting me on Medium. If you want unlimited access to all of my articles, and of many other authors, you can become a Medium Member. You’ll be supporting me and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*”The Trouble is, it’s All up to You. The Good Thing is, it’s All up to You.” By Katrien Degraeve.
**Augustinus van Hippo, Bishop, Theologist and Philosopher from Thagaste (354-430)