I read these words by Chögyam Trungpa and it made me smile. This is so right I thought.
Our ego really does run the show.
And look at how it makes us feel…
Of course, we have to define ‘ego’ before we get into it.
The ego can be defined as the Protective Self*, and that is the good side of the ego. That is the part of our subconscious mind where we gather all of our experiences, all that we’ve learned, all that we’ve been taught. And as long as those experiences are still in line with our values, with our beliefs, with what is really helpful in life, then please do continue to listen to your ego, your Protective Self. As it would be very problematic if we did not have any automatic responses, any automatic behavior, and if we would not recall anything we’ve ever learned. So, this is not the ego we’re talking about here.
The ego that we are talking about here, is the one that makes us suffer. It is the ego which tells us lies**. Lies like:
I am what I have.
I am what I do.
I am who I know.
I am what other people think of me.
I am alone.
These 5 lies are what makes, most of us, suffer every single day.
Because we believe those lies, we think that we are better than other people.
Because of these lies, we believe that we are entitled to certain things, certain services, …
Living these lies, is living from the outside world inwards. We let outer things dictate what we should think, what we should believe, how we should feel.
That lying ego rules our thoughts, hence how we feel.
The more we live from what is out there, instead of what is deep inside us, the unhappier we will feel.
And here is where the enlightenment comes in.
The moment we start living from within,
the moment we start listening to our Higher Self,
the moment we take a good look at what our values are, at who we really are, void from all the outer input,
that is the moment we step onto the path to enlightenment.
The moment we truly believe that we can change our minds, that we can change old beliefs, old behaviors, …, that is the moment our ego loses all of its power.
That is the moment we start living from within, from a place of love, from a place of gratitude, from a place of compassion.
Dr. Wayne Dyer says it so beautifully: choose whether you want to
“Be a host to love or be a hostage to your ego”
Waw! Isn’t that beautifully said.
To be a host to love, to let love live inside you, to be love, to live a life filled with love.
Go and find the path to enlightenment.
Start listening to your heart.
Become very quiet so that you can learn the difference between helpful reactions steered by the Protective Self, and the lies coming from the fearful ego.
Try it, and see what happens.
I know it is not easy, because we are so used to living from the ego. We are so programmed to (re-) act from old beliefs, from the default modus ‘fear’. Fear that we are not good enough, fear that we do not fit in, fear of what other people think of us…. All of which is not love, and makes us feel very miserably and upset.
We get upset because:
Somebody reacted in a way we did not appreciate… how dare they…???
Once we realize, we do not control other people’s reactions, once we change our way of thinking, that is when we can let it go, let them be, instead of letting them rule our peace of mind.
We get upset because:
We didn’t get what we expected…
Who is responsible for your expectations…?? Yes, the one and only: YOU. Change your thoughts, change your expectations and you’ll see how different you’ll start to feel.
If we live from our ego driven thoughts, we really are upset all the time…
Somebody “stole” my parking place.
Somebody “stole” my job.
Somebody was mean to me.
Somebody is more beautiful than me, is richer than me, is healthier than me, …
And so on and so forth, the ego goes on and on, ….
It is safe to say that we really are a hostage to our ego.
We get upset by so many things that are out of our control and basically, it is plain stupid to let that rule our peace of mind.
STOP this ego driven life!!
Be a host to love instead.
Make every day the decision to live from love, to be a host to love!
Start walking the path to enlightenment. Go step by step.
Let’s try the following things:
Every time you hear people talking ill of others,
disengage, walk away.
Every time you think badly about somebody,
change that thought into a loving thought (nobody is 100% “bad”, you can always -yes always- find something positive about them)
And that includes you too!
Every time you are thinking ill of yourself,
change it and send a positive thought through your mind.
Every time you start blaming, complaining,
stop yourself and think, what can I do about this to change it.
If it’s in your power to change it, do it, otherwise stop complaining and judging, as you can’t do anything about it anyway.
Remove anger because anger is the absence of love (quote of dr. Wayne W. Dyer)
Practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama says:
“If every 8-year-old, all over the world, would start meditating on compassion for 1 hour/week,
we would eradicate all hate and acts of violence over one generation’s time.
I’d say: it’s worth the try, no?
Start practicing compassion. You never know somebody’s (whole) story, so be nice to people, to animals, to all.
Become humble, it’s really not about us, individuals, we are just a blip in the whole Universe, we are all connected, there are no individuals, we are all part of the ONE-ness.
When love lives inside you, you feel grateful, you don’t need more, because you appreciate what you have, you are content.
Being a host to love, is being generous, sharing.
That is the path to enlightenment, this is the way to remove all the power of your ego.
You’ll feel so much better, lighter, brighter.
You will become a being of light!
And light makes darkness go away…
I know it is not easy in the beginning but:
it’s really all about making a decision***, a decision about what you want in life, and what you do not want anymore, and then go in that direction, every single day!
You’ll trip, you’ll fall into the ego trap again. For sure!
Everybody still does from time to time.
But remember your decision and stop yourself, think about being a host to love and go from there.
Nobody is perfect!
The more you practice, the less frequent you will fall down again!
And the shorter you will “stay down” in your ego reality.
You will recognize your behavior and as you made a decision to live from love, you will be able to quickly shift again to your higher self, to being a host to love again.
I believe in love being the ultimate goal of life!
I wish you all a wonderful, loving, heartwarming week!!
Let us all be a HOST TO LOVE!!!
Thank you all for reading me, and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles, and of many other authors, you can become a Medium Member. You’ll be supporting me and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*Previous articles here on Medium by Katrien Degraeve.
**’The Power of Intention’ by dr. Wayne W. Dyer.
***’Change your Thoughts, Change your Life’ by dr. Wayne W. Dyer.