I am so grateful for all the things that I have learned over the years, from my wonderful mentor, Courtney Carver*. She’s my go-to-example whenever I am in doubt whether I need something, or whether I need to let go of it. And I have learned that whenever you ask yourself this very question, the answer almost always is: let it go!
One needs so much less than what we always believe we do.
We need less stuff, we need less worry, we need less hassle, we need less to-do’s, we need less drama, we need less….
Let me share some concrete things we can let go of.
Stuff
As you can read in my book** and in many of my previous articles: “Everything you own, owns you” The more stuff you get rid of, the more joy, the more life you gain! You have less to clean, less to organize, less to take care of, and there is finally room to breathe, room to do things, room to enjoy the energy that can flow freely again.
Rushing
The more we rush to get things done, the less we enjoy anything we do. We’ll never be able to do it all, so choose what you want to do, and enjoy that. Stop rushing to get as much done in one day as possible. Be present with what you’re doing, enjoy what you’re doing, be happy with what you’ve done, even if it’s only one tiny little thing.
Old goals and dreams
Make an assessment of what you still want to achieve in life. Stop trying to get everything you ever dreamt of, done. People change, people learn, people become more peaceful with where they are in life. Acknowledge where you are right now, be content with what you’ve achieved so far. Be very conscious about the things you still want to do, or have in life. Why do you want them? Who do you want them for? How will this make you a better person, a happier person? Don’t just do stuff so that you’ll be able to put it on your ‘resume of life’. Do things because they’ll make you a more content, a more loving, a more conscious person.
What other people think of you
I have written*** a lot about this in previous articles, because this is really something everyone struggles with. Yes, even me, who writes about it and knows how tricky it can be, still has to be very aware that I do not let myself be influenced anymore by what others say and do. Dr Wayne W. Dyer used to say: ‘What other people think of me, is none of my business.’ And that is so true. Everyone has their own beliefs, their own vision, their own story. That has nothing to do with you, so don’t even try to fit in into their story as that is what it is, a story, their story. Live in accordance to what you feel is right, live your life according to your beliefs and values.
You trying to change the past
What is done, is done. What happened, happened. All you can do, is learn from the past. Be grateful for the lessons it taught you. Use those to become a better person. Look forward and repair whatever you feel needs to be repaired, by being a better person now.
Guilt and excessive worry
Dr Wayne W. Dyer wrote**** about the two useless emotions: guilt and worry. We live now, in the present, and guilt is about something that happened, or something you didn’t do, in the past. So, as I wrote here above, what is done, is done. You can’t change the past so it’s useless to feel guilty. All you can do, is use this emotion to take action. The emotion alone won’t change a thing. Worry is about something that still needs to happen, something in the future. So, again not a useful emotion. All you can do, is prepare yourself for what’s to come. Your amount of worrying about it, will change absolutely nothing to the outcome of it.
Harsh self-talk and judging.
Ask yourself: would you say out loud to someone you like and appreciate, what you’re saying in your head to yourself? Right, that’s your answer. Stop talking so harshly to yourself, stop beating yourself up. First of all, it won’t change anything about the current situation and secondly: it will not help you one bit in the present, nor in future situations. Also stop judging*****. It does not help anyone at all! Not you, nor anyone else. Whatever you’ve done, or whatever someone is doing in life, will not be changed by you, or anyone else, having an opinion about it. The only thing you can do, is: live the way you want things to be done, live to be an example of how you see the world. All you can do, is inspire people to do the same because of how you make them feel. You’ll never convince someone to behave differently by punishing them, by criticizing them, by acting in a condescending way. My favorite quote by Mahatma Gandhi is: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Not taking care of your body.
Make sure you really do consider your body** as your temple. You only get one body, you only get one place to live in, make sure you treasure it. As that is exactly what it is: a treasure. Your body does everything to stay healthy, to support you throughout your whole life. And yet, take a good look at how we’re treating it. We stuff ourselves with junk, with alcohol, with sugars, … We don’t give our body the rest it needs. We go on and on, and even when our body says stop, we continue, until it’s a full stop. Listen to your body, nourish it, give it the rest it needs and deserves before you get to that full stop.
My invitation to you all is:
Take some time to self-reflect.
Make a mental note of what is eating up your energy.
Add those to the above ‘Let-go-of’ list.
And then make the necessary changes to actually let go of the things you want to let go of.
Get yourself an accountability partner, someone you trust, someone who will help you to let go of these things, and who will help you to prevent these things finding a way back into your life.
Thank you all for reading me and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles and many other authors, you can become a Medium Member and you’ll be supporting me, and all the other authors. Many, many thanks to you all!!!
Katrien
*’Be More With Less’ by Courtney Carver.
**’Less is Yes!” by Katrien Degraeve.
***Previous Medium Articles, by Katrien Degraeve
****’Your Erroneous Zones‘ by dr. Wayne W. Dyer.
*****’Judgement Detox’ by Gabrielle Bernstein.