Those are the rogues,
Those are the ones, making us unhappy, frustrated, sad, disappointed…
Think about it:
When you are disappointed:
Were your expectations not met?
When you are frustrated:
Had you hoped for a different outcome?
I guess so.
When you are unhappy:
Were you expecting more, or something else?
I assume you did.
When you are sad:
Did you hope for something/ someone that is not there?
We always make a movie in our head about
how we think, about how we hope things will/should turn out.
But is this based on facts, on reality?
Or is it rather wishful thinking?
Most of the times we are not conscious about it but:
we expect people to behave a certain way,
we expect people to say/do certain things,
we expect things to work out, in a way we think they should work out,
we expect the weather to be nice when we organize something,
we expect trains, planes, buses to be on time,
we expect not to get ill,
we expect …
we expect …
the list is endless!
All day long we have expectations and we get frustrated when things don’t turn out the way they do in the movie we have running in our head.
And that’s what is causing us stress, anxiety, unhappiness, frustration.
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. specialized in personal growth and relationships, bestselling author, said in one of her books:
“If I could take one thing away from people on their journey to a happy life, it would be “expectations”!”
I couldn’t agree more!
Take away your expectations,
Adjust your expectations,
Communicate your expectations so that you are all on the same page!
I am not saying you have to be fatalistic, that is just another way of having (no, low, bad, unrealistic) expectations.
No, I would like you
to have an open mind,
to know that anything is possible,
not to cling to a certain outcome!
The weather may be nice or it may be bad.
The plane may be on time, the plane may be late.
Your colleague may be friendly or grumpy today.
Traffic may be fluid or completely stuck.
You may get promoted or not.
You may get a nice present or not.
If we are all doing the BEST we can, then we can let go of the outcome because that is all we and everyone else CAN do.
Your reaction to a situation determines how you will feel:
When the plane is delayed, no matter how frustrated you get about that, the plane will still be delayed.
When traffic is dense, honking your horn, and ‘pushing’ your way through traffic won’t change anything for the best, on the contrary.
When you are disappointed by someone,
first check if your expectations were not too high and
secondly, did the other person know what you expected of him/her?
For this week, try to see how your feelings relate to your expectations. Once you have a better view on that, you will handle situations differently and a LOT of negative feelings will be melting like marshmallows over a fire!
Check your expectations, adjust where necessary and enjoy the “letting go of the outcome”.
Thank you all for reading me!