{"id":6291,"date":"2023-05-25T17:24:45","date_gmt":"2023-05-25T15:24:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/to-gossip-or-not-to-gossip\/"},"modified":"2023-05-25T17:24:45","modified_gmt":"2023-05-25T15:24:45","slug":"to-gossip-or-not-to-gossip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/to-gossip-or-not-to-gossip\/","title":{"rendered":"To Gossip or Not to Gossip\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you ever tried not gossiping for a whole week? <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I bet it was a very silent week\u2026.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Do you often feel yourself getting sucked in into a \u2018good juicy story\u2019 about someone?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Do you secretly feel good about yourself when you hear of someone else slipping up?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Why is it that we all tend to gossip all the time? Do we really like this? What good does it actually do to anyone?<\/p>\n

Have you ever not engaged in gossiping long enough, so that you actually have felt the difference in your heart and mind?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a closer look.<\/p>\n

What is it about gossiping? Why do people gossip?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

When we\u2019re gossiping, it feels as if we\u2019re establishing a special bond, a special connection with the person we\u2019re talking to. We seem to agree on something, we feel that we\u2019re understanding what the other person is saying, we feel important and privileged because the other person is \u2018trusting us\u2019 with this information, we feel so good about ourselves because what we\u2019re talking about is happening to someone else and \u2026luckily not to us. BUT\u2026\u2026.<\/p>\n

Is this really true? Do we really feel good? Or what is the real reason we feel \u2018good\u2019 while gossiping?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe we feel good about the misfortune of others because we then feel it\u2019s okay when one day, we make that same mistake?<\/p>\n

Maybe we feel we\u2019re not perfect enough? Is this why, we then like it when someone else slips up too?<\/p>\n

Maybe we feel special because someone chooses us to talk to?<\/p>\n

Does it really make us feel good at the end of the day, or does it do just the opposite? Maybe we feel suspicious about people because of it, as maybe one day they\u2019ll be gossiping about us too.<\/p>\n

What is the price we\u2019re paying for that moment of feeling \u2018good\u2019, of feeling \u2018superior\u2019?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

When we feel good about the misfortune of another person, what we\u2019re actually saying is: \u2018It\u2019s bad to make a mistake\u2019, \u2018You\u2019re a failure when something derails in your life.\u2019 Most of us hold on to the belief that you need to succeed in life in terms of having a perfect career, a perfect marriage, a perfect body, perfect children, the coolest hobbies, \u2026. The more we nurture and feed this belief, aka gossiping when we see someone not being able to tick off all of the above boxes, the more we create the perfect circumstances for being unhappy in life.<\/span> The higher we set the standards for everyone, the higher we need to climb to stay above \u201cother people\u2019s failures\u201d. This is why we pay a very high price when we\u2019re gossiping. We just can\u2019t climb high enough, as nobody is without flaws and that is okay, that is normal, that is being human. But for some reason most of us are horrified by this reality. We feel we\u2019re not good enough. We chastise ourselves for our mistakes. We are harsh on ourselves and we project this frustration onto everyone around us. We think gossiping will relieve us from feeling bad because we’re not perfect. But the sooner we accept imperfections in ourself and in others, the sooner we\u2019ll finally be able to enjoy life to the fullest.<\/p>\n

How can we put a stop to this vile, addictive, bad habit of gossiping?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Make a promise to yourself that whenever you catch yourself engaging in gossip, you\u2019ll just stop! Even mid-sentence, just stop. Refuse<\/span> to go any further in this negative, \u2018putting-down\u2019 behavior. You can even talk about it with your spouse or friends, and say that you want to stop this energy draining habit. See how they feel about quitting the gossip habit. But remember, it\u2019s your choice, you can\u2019t make anyone join you if they don\u2019t want to. What you can do however, is first of all, not gossiping yourself, and also, not joining others in the behavior you no longer want for yourself anymore.<\/p>\n

What benefits are there in \u2018not trash talking\u2019, in \u2018not putting others down\u2019?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Not only is it the decent thing to do, you\u2019ll also have nicer encounters, warmer conversations. You\u2019ll feel more relaxed as you are okay with what is happening around you. You do not need to comment, correct, know better anymore, you can just let everyone be. Suddenly the world seems more beautiful. Really it does. Try it and feel it for yourself. You\u2019ll be more at ease with yourself as you do not need to transcend other people\u2019s actions anymore. You now do not judge anymore. All is good. Whatever people choose to be or do, it\u2019s okay. You can finally just be<\/span>. The world feels more peaceful as you do not engage in that negativity anymore. You realize you, and others, are enough. You accept, respect and love yourself and others. All this results in feeling better, in feeling more energetic, happier, healthier, in experiencing pure bliss. It\u2019s now easy to be grateful for all that is present in your life because you accept life as it comes, people as they are. As I\u2019ve written many times* before: \u2018It\u2019s not happy people who are grateful, it\u2019s grateful people who are happy.\u2019<\/p>\n

Is it doable to stop gossiping?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Absolutely!!!<\/p>\n

Is it easy?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Not at all. It\u2019s like every habit you want to change. It takes commitment<\/em><\/span>, it takes time<\/em>.<\/span> You have to consciously remind yourself every day that you want to stop gossiping. You have to, as you do in wanting to change any habits**, know why<\/em><\/span> you want it. Then you have to repeat<\/em> <\/span>your new behavior time after time, every day, until you\u2019ve developed a new habit: the habit of no more gossiping, the habit of only positive, constructive and respectful talking.<\/p>\n

Is it worth it?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Absolutely!! Once you live your life with this new habit, you\u2019ll feel yourself being a new person. You\u2019ll start feeling more and more content in life, more compassionate, more tolerant. You\u2019ll also feel negative people disappearing from your life as they can\u2019t stand being around someone who refuses to engage in their trash talking. Give it some time. Once you have committed yourself to be a non-gossiping person for some time, you\u2019ll notice nothing but benefits. First, you\u2019ll feel a bit like treading new waters as it feels with changing any old habits. Most of us have been doing and hearing it all of our lives, so it feels familiar. But once you are accustomed to not gossiping, you\u2019ll feel your whole body getting more and more relaxed. You\u2019ll sleep better, you\u2019ll feel more energized, you\u2019ll feel healthier. Life \u2018suddenly\u2019 feels easier.<\/strong><\/span> This finally results in feeling comfortable with life, in being a happy person, a person content and happy with how things work out in life, a person content and happy with the people around him\/her, a person happy and content with his\/her own flaws, a person who enjoys life with all its imperfections.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you all for reading me and for supporting me on Medium! If you want unlimited access to all of my articles and many other authors, you can become a Medium Member by clicking on this link https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.com\/membership<\/a> and you\u2019ll be supporting me directly (and all the other authors indirectly). Many, many thanks to you all!!!<\/p>\n

Katrien<\/p>\n

*Medium articles by Katrien Degraeve<\/p>\n

**\u201dThe Trouble is, It\u2019s All up to You. The Good Thing is, it\u2019s All up to You.\u201d Article by Katrien Degraeve<\/p>\n

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Have you ever tried not gossiping for a whole week? I bet it was a very silent week\u2026. Do you often feel yourself getting sucked in into a \u2018good juicy story\u2019 about someone? Do you secretly feel good about yourself when you hear of someone else slipping up? Why is it that we all tend […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6291","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-non-classifiee"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6291","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6291"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6291\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}