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I would like to talk about talking. Is it relaxing? Is it stressful? Is it interesting? Is it helpful? Is it wasting time? \u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n As I am always trying to be very conscious about what is giving me energy and what is draining me, I would like us to think for a moment about how much we are talking and what that means to us: is it giving or draining?<\/p>\n Of course, we have to communicate so that we are able to live an agreeable, efficient life. No doubt about that. It is very hard to live in a society where there is bad communication or a lack of communication.<\/p>\n What I want to talk about here in this blog is about: talking all the time, talking to fill the voids, talking to escape introspection, talking to fill the need to convince other people, \u2026 talking because you are afraid it would be awkward to have silence.<\/em><\/p>\n When you look around and watch people, you notice that most people are stressed, most people are tired, most people are bad tempered, most people lack joy in their life. I believe the solution to this is: reducing stress by<\/p>\n Building in rest<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Enjoying silence<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Just breathing for a moment<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Doing less<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n I very often write about simplifying your life<\/span><\/strong>, about going back to the basics to be able to really enjoy and treasure what you have. This already is a major factor in feeling less stress as you have less to do\u2019s, there is less clutter, the energy can flow freely through your house. I also very much believe that talking less can contribute<\/span><\/strong> to feeling more relaxed, to feeling less burdened, to feeling more joyful.<\/p>\n There is that famous saying: \u201cThink<\/em><\/strong> before you speak\u201d<\/span> where every letter stands for a meaningful word when we are pondering talking, when we have a closer look at speaking.<\/p>\n T<\/em><\/strong><\/span>rue<\/em><\/strong>: is what you say true. It may seem obvious that we would only tell the truth. But you\u2019d be surprised by how much of what we are saying is actually repeating hearsay, or is our<\/em> interpretation of the facts.<\/p>\n H<\/em><\/strong><\/span>elpful<\/em><\/strong>: if what you\u2019re saying is not helping anyone, then why bother saying it? Most of the time it\u2019s just \u2018noise\u2019 we\u2019re producing. Or even worse, we may irritate or hurt somebody without even realizing it.<\/p>\n I<\/em><\/strong><\/span>nspiring:<\/em><\/strong> if what you say has no value, is not inspiring, is -again- just filling up the silence, then be silent for a change and see how that feels. The more you practice this, the more you will feel your energy rising, your ‘calm’ growing.<\/p>\n N<\/em><\/strong><\/span>ecessary<\/em><\/strong>: again, why bother if it\u2019s not necessary, let everybody enjoy silence for a change and become restful and calm. We will all benefit from it.<\/p>\n K<\/em><\/strong><\/span>ind<\/em><\/strong>: this for me is a no brainer: if your words are not kind, then there is absolutely no justification for saying them. You\u2019ll only create negativity, hurt, \u2026 and it does not contribute to anything constructive.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why I think it is interesting to become more conscious about our talking habits<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n When we\u2019re just blabbing away to avoid silence<\/span><\/em>, I don\u2019t think this will give us much joy. On the contrary, you\u2019re occupied, you\u2019re not free to do something you really enjoy and it is tiresome. It\u2019s okay to not talk, it\u2019s okay to be in the same room with other people, each enjoying the silence. Once you practice this, you\u2019ll learn to feel comfortable with it and you\u2019ll notice how much more energetic you\u2019ll start to feel. Then when you actually say something, it will come from a place of kindness, from a place of being rested and everybody will benefit from it.<\/p>\n When we\u2019re talking and trying to convince people<\/span><\/em>, very often we\u2019ll feel frustrated because very often, we are pushing too hard. We are so convinced that we are right that we get annoyed when other people don\u2019t see it that way, or simply are not that interested in that specific topic. So here again, only talk to people about certain subjects when you feel there is room for a conversation and that you will both get energy from it.<\/p>\n When you really want to share something<\/span><\/em> with someone, pick your moment, and pick your person, to avoid frustration and disappointment, which are both energy drainers.<\/p>\n Less energy means less joy.<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n When you are silent, you create space in your mind<\/strong>.<\/span> There is room for contemplating what you are thinking about and why you want to share this. Very often you\u2019ll notice that it is for reasons that will not bring joy to anyone, not even to yourself if you think it through. When you are silent for long enough, you\u2019ll be able to distillate what will bring joy, what is worth sharing.<\/p>\n In being silent you also create time<\/strong><\/span>. Less time spent talking, is time gained to do other stuff.<\/p>\n I am not advocating not talking to each other anymore, all I am saying is:<\/p>\n Create enough silence to be able to learn the difference between <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n filling up silence and meaningful conversations.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n As you create silence, you\u2019ll be more rested, you\u2019ll feel more joyful, you\u2019ll notice more, you\u2019ll be more able to see what is important and what not. Hence, you\u2019ll feel less stress as you take the time to breathe, to notice, to let go of what is not important and to just be.<\/p>\n This is something I would really like you all to give a try: consciously thinking before you speak and avoiding mindless chatter. It will feel strange in the beginning but you\u2019ll soon notice the benefits from it. You\u2019ll learn so much more about yourself, about others, about life, \u2026as you now take the time to observe, to hear, to feel. As they say:<\/p>\n \u201cSilence isn\u2019t empty, it is full of answers.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n And as we\u2019re talking about less talking, I\u2019ll leave you to it now \ud83d\ude42 and I wish you a joyful, silent and very energizing week!<\/p>\n