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I often like to start my blogs with a quote, a question or a statement: here\u2019s the one for this week.<\/p>\n
\u201cLife will always challenge you in order to bring you<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n from rigidity to flexibility, <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n from controlling to allowing.\u201d Panache Desai.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n We all have plans, we all have goals we want to achieve, we all have dreams,<\/p>\n But nobody is sure of how and when we will get there.<\/p>\n A while back it was a virus that dictated us to let go of knowing exactly what was coming and how we would be able to get through this whole situation.<\/p>\n Now it\u2019s a war that is shaking all of the certainties in life. There will always be something going on in the world that makes us feel uncertain of the outcome, something that makes us feel out of control, not certain how we will move forward. Instead of always feeling this anxiety of not knowing the exact outcome, what if we could learn this not knowing-and-being-okay-with-not-knowing to be our standard MO<\/em>?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I would like to ask you to really consider this way of looking at life and to start living that way. Because that\u2019s what life is really all about.<\/p>\n We have dreams, plans, projects, <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n but if we hold on to them with clenched fists,<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n all that can happen is disappointment.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Nothing ever works out exactly the way we wanted it to.<\/p>\n Knowing the general direction of the path you would like to walk in life, is enough.<\/p>\n Then just watch, enjoy, see what comes along that path.<\/p>\n If you are open to change, to unexpected challenges, you\u2019ll feel less disappointed, less hurt, less lost. Because let\u2019s face it:<\/p>\n When are we feeling unhappy?<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n When people do not act in a way we thought\/wanted <\/em>them to act.<\/span><\/p>\n When things don\u2019t work out the way we envisioned<\/em> them to work out.<\/span><\/p>\n When we suddenly have to change our plans because of something \u2018outside of our control\u2019<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n The moment you learn to be flexible, to expect the unexpected, to allow life<\/em> to happen to you, that\u2019s when you are really living\/ enjoying your life.<\/p>\n Control is an illusion.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Control is just another form of fear: fear that we won\u2019t be able to handle anything we did not plan, fear that another outcome won\u2019t be \u2018as good\u2019.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Control is just your ego talking: \u201cMy way or the highway\u201d. <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Control is shutting yourself off from greater opportunities, from learning, from growing.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I like this little joke which I think is so true:<\/p>\n \u201cIf you want to make God laugh, tell Her your plans\u201d or Him\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42 <\/em>sorry I couldn\u2019t resist \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n That really is what happens all the time, right?<\/p>\n You were planning to do this and, oh yes, \u2018something\u2019 came up and you had to change your plans.<\/p>\n Like I said, we\u2019ve had COVID, we have wars going on, we have an energy crisis, \u2026<\/p>\n But it needn\u2019t always be this huge.<\/p>\n Just think about it: how many times in life have you already needed to adapt, to change your plans?<\/p>\n The day we accept<\/em><\/strong>,<\/span> this is how things work, we are not bothered by it anymore.<\/p>\n We then know,<\/em><\/strong><\/span> life is always<\/em> asking us to be flexible, asking us to adjust to new circumstances.<\/p>\n Life is change,<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Change is life.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Nothing lasts, everything<\/em> is always changing, everything is in constant movement.<\/p>\n So are we, not one cell in our body is still the same as 10 years ago: everything is constantly changing, always evolving.<\/p>\n It is absurd to hold on too tightly,<\/p>\n it just isn\u2019t possible to keep things from changing.<\/p>\n Once you know and <\/em>accept this, life becomes a smoother ride.<\/p>\n Allow things to happen,<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n go with the flow.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n As one of my biggest examples in life, Dr<\/em>. Susan Jeffers*<\/em>, says:<\/p>\n \u201cDo the best you can at any moment but let go of the outcome\u201d.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n One of her own examples, is a very simple but a very clear example of how letting go can help us:<\/p>\n \u201cShe was always very afraid of flying and every time it was a bumpy flight, she would squeeze the armrests, try to steer that whole plane with those armrests and try to keep it steady. \u00a0Until the moment she realized how absurd this was. She was exhausted from squeezing and trying to keep the plane from bouncing. She was afraid and she felt she failed because the plane was still bumping all over the place no matter how hard she tried. The only result she got was even more anxiety. So, once she realized the absurdity of what she was trying to do, she had a good laugh and decided from now on: to let the plane fly its course, to trust the pilots and to just relax in her seat and wait until the storm had passed\u201d<\/p>\n If you project this to any other situation, you\u2019ll notice how letting go, enables you to relax.<\/p>\n Whenever life gets tough, whenever plans need to be changed: <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n look at what you can do and where you just need to sit back and let things just be.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Being flexible and allowing life to be, are key elements of living a happier, more relaxed, more satisfying life.<\/p>\n My invitation to you all this week is:<\/p>\n Know what you want in life but be flexible about how you are going to achieve it.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Let go of the one defined outcome you have in your head, let go of the one planned itinerary and just see where life brings you.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Enjoy the unexpected.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Anne Maree Rowley** says in one of her guided meditations:<\/p>\n \u201cCourage is accepting the challenge of the unknown\u201d,<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Learn to see the benefits in all the challenges you meet.<\/p>\n I know sometimes you don\u2019t see it right away, but there is a positive side to everything.<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s a given in nature: everything has a positive and a negative pole, that\u2019s the law of polarity***. There is no positive without a negative, there is no good without bad, there are always 2 poles in everything. \u00a0We, humans, don\u2019t always believe this as we don\u2019t always see it, but it\u2019s there. It\u2019s with our mental muscle**** perception, which I have talked about in many of my articles and also in my book \u2018Less is Yes!\u2019, that we can consciously choose how we look at a situation. We actively choose to look at the negative pole of something or at the positive pole. It\u2019s something you need to train your mind to do, as we tend to immediately see the bad, the negative, \u2026 We have the choice: look at the good or look at the bad of a situation.<\/p>\n Take a step back, breathe, look for the positive, do what is in your power and let go of anything else.<\/p>\n It\u2019s in this place of non-ego, of non-emotional state you\u2019ll be able to see more clearly.<\/p>\n You can\u2019t change the waves but you can learn how to surf them!<\/span><\/strong> And yes, you\u2019ll fall down more times than you can count, but you\u2019ll get the hang of it eventually. And wow, what a ride when you do!!!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n