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<\/p>\nMy mentor Dr. Sue Morter and her colleague Marci Shimoff say it so accurately:<\/p>\n
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And I really do believe that is the only way<\/em><\/span><\/strong> to feeling happy, to living your life to the fullest.<\/p>\n No blaming<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n As long as we keep pointing the finger at someone else for how we are feeling and for what is happening to us, we completely give our power to that other person. We then truly believe that what they say, what they do, is the ingredient of our (un)happiness. Whenever you feel that way, say STOP!<\/span> Say: \u2018I am the one who decides what is the recipe for my happiness\u2019<\/span>. You then take back your power, you become the creator of your feelings, of your life. I know people can get under our skin. I know we don\u2019t always see eye to eye with the people around us. But that is normal, that is okay. As long as you don\u2019t give it too much attention, as long as you don\u2019t keep feeding that thought, that feeling*. Where focus goes, energy flows. <\/em><\/span>Whenever there is an issue, see it for what it is, an issue, no personal war, no personal attack. Take a deep breath, look at it from a more detached point of view and clear the air. Discuss what needs to be discussed and then close the subject. And keep it closed. No use coming back to it, no use continuing to bring it up. Don\u2019t give it any attention anymore, and you\u2019ll see the ripples disappear and before you know it, you will be navigating through calm waters again. You\u2019ll feel energized again, you\u2019ll feel good again, as you now focus on what lays ahead, on new possibilities, new positive situations. I always remember the story Dr. Wayne W. Dyer once told, about a client of his. This client went on and on about her mom. If only her mom could do this, if only her mom wouldn\u2019t say that, if only her mom\u2026 After some time, Dr. Dyer said: \u201cokay, the session is over.\u201d You can already see the consternation on that patient\u2019s face. She asked: \u201cWhy?\u201d And Dr. Dyer said: \u201cGo get your mom, and I\u2019ll fix your mom so you can be happy.\u201d And then it hit her, she <\/em>was the one who needed to make changes in her life, she<\/em> was the one responsible for how she felt and what she did and did not do in her life. As long as we keep blaming others, we don\u2019t take responsibility for our own life. As long as we don\u2019t make changes, nothing will change in our life.<\/em> <\/span><\/strong>When you keep doing the things you always did, you\u2019ll keep having the things you always had.<\/p>\n No Shaming.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Shaming someone is a sign of weakness. It doesn\u2019t get you anywhere. On the contrary. When you shame another person, you are only showing your own insecurity.<\/span> Because people who are lashing out, are insecure, are not happy, are not loving themselves (enough) and that translates in bullying, in shaming other people. In fact, they see imperfections in another person and that only reminds them of their own imperfections and as they have not come to terms with being a human being with flaws and imperfections, seeing the same thing in others makes them feel angry and powerless so they lash out. The only way to stop shaming others, and yourself, is by starting to accept yourself, to respect yourself and to love yourself**. Accept that you are a human being who is not perfect, respect yourself and love yourself as the person you are: a beautiful, unique person with talents and flaws. The more you accept yourself as you are, the more you\u2019ll accept others for who they are, \u00a0and the more you\u2019ll realize we are all connected, we are all in this together.<\/em><\/span><\/strong> The more loving we are towards ourselves and others, the better we will all work (and live) together and the happier everyone<\/em> will feel.<\/p>\n No Complaining.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Complaining is an addiction.<\/span> One keeps on doing it because there are benefits in doing it: You get attention. You don\u2019t have to take responsibility. You don\u2019t have to take action. BUT as with all addictions, it comes with a price. A price that is too high to pay<\/span>. Because you may experience some benefits temporarily, in the long run, there are only down sides. You keep being stuck in a situation you don\u2019t like. You are not feeling happy because you constantly stay on that low vibrational frequency of being a victim, of talking negatively, of giving your power away. You feel powerless and so, you complain even more: \u201cWhy is this happening to<\/em> me?\u201d, \u201cWhy is everyone so mean?\u201d, \u201cWhy don\u2019t I ever get a break in life?\u201d, \u2026 you recognize the narrative? All expressions of someone who believes they have no power over their life, of someone who believes that others determine how they feel, of someone who does not realize that the only person responsible for how they are feeling, is themselves. You can tell your story once or twice to get it out in the open, to get all parties involved around the table but then, STOP telling what is \u2018wrong\u2019 and START creating solutions.<\/span> The sooner you do that, the sooner you\u2019ll climb to a higher frequency*** and the better you\u2019ll start to feel. The higher you climb, the more you feel your power, the more you feel you are in control of how you feel, the better you\u2019ll feel, the more open you\u2019ll be towards other people, the more open and creative you\u2019ll be towards finding solutions for things that are not working out in your life right now. Stop sitting in your rocking chair! It keeps you busy but gets you nowhere. Decide now that you want to move forward and start acting upon that thought<\/em>.<\/span><\/strong> You\u2019ll be the first benefactor of it!!!! It\u2019s the greatest present you can give yourself!! And \u2018miraculously\u2019 the world around you will change too\u2026\u2026Nothing but wins, nothing but a positive outcome for all!<\/p>\n