![\"\"](\"https:\/\/lifecoachwomen.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/hope-regrets-300x200.jpeg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
What good comes out of wishing<\/em> you had done things differently?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Who says that if you had done things differently it would have made you happier<\/em>?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Regretting\u2026 People are always scared they either, will regret things they have done or not have done in life. But isn\u2019t that a huge waste of time?<\/p>\n To me, regret is something I do not wish to dwell on for too long.<\/p>\n Does this mean one can do whatever he\/she likes and never look back or regret stuff? No, all I am saying is: live your life and as long as you do not deliberately harm yourself or others:<\/p>\n all experiences in life are just that: <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n experiences.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n When you\u2019ve done or said something, and in hindsight you wish you hadn\u2019t<\/strong>,<\/span> all there is to do now is to evaluate why<\/em><\/span> you would not do it again and then just never do it again<\/em><\/span>. Nothing can undo what you said or did, no apologizing in the world will change the past, only your present and future actions will tell that you regret that past experience and therefor will never do so again. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n When you regret not having done things in life (yet)<\/span>,<\/strong> what is keeping you<\/span>?<\/em> What of the things you\u2019ve always dreamt of doing, can you start doing now? I understand that if your dream was to live in New York or to work in an African Wildlife Sanctuary, and you currently have a career and family in Europe, it may not be that simple<\/em> <\/span>to achieve that dream. Then I suggest two possibilities<\/strong>,<\/span> and no, none of them is regret:-)<\/p>\n First <\/strong><\/span>you can do some research<\/em><\/span> and see what is possible<\/em><\/span> to achieve that dream. You\u2019d be amazed by what can be done once you have facts and figures and you can discuss the pros and cons in a rational and documented way, and at the same time be considering everyone\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n Secondly<\/strong><\/span>, when the leap is too big to take now, you can ask yourself<\/em>: why <\/em><\/span>do I want to live this dream? What do I expect<\/em> <\/span>from a life in which I would be living this dream? What do I really know about it? What am I seeking in living this dream? Once you go deep into your motivation<\/em><\/span>, once you honestly look at what it is, you hope this dream will give you, you can write it down<\/em><\/span> and see how else you could satisfy this need. Often there are many ways of fulfilling this dream<\/span><\/em>. Once you know what you\u2019re hoping to experience, you can look for alternatives that will give you the same experience, your dream will just be wearing a different jacket but the result, your feelings, will be the same.<\/p>\n Dreaming of a certain life most often is about <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n looking to experience a certain feeling in life.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Create a life, walk a path, where you can experience this feeling you\u2019re seeking, without hanging on to a very specific outcome, without thinking your life must look a very specific way to make sure you have lived the \u2018life of your dreams\u2019.<\/p>\n Regret, therefor, is never the final answer to your call in life.<\/p>\n When you regret things you\u2019ve done,<\/span> you keep living in the past, which is a total waste of time as you can\u2019t go back and do things differently.<\/p>\n When you regret, things you haven\u2019t done yet<\/span>, again, regret won\u2019t change your life, only action will. Use this feeling of regret to make changes. You cannot prevent this feeling from coming up, just don\u2019t nurture it. Acknowledge it, recognize it as a sign to do something now.<\/p>\n As my teachers dr. Sue Morter and her colleague Marci Shimoff, taught me:<\/p>\n No blaming, no shaming, no complaining.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n No amount of regret for your own actions or inactions, no amount of \u2018shoving responsibilities onto other people or circumstances\u2019 will change your life<\/strong>.<\/span> Only using the awareness, the insight those experiences have given you to take action, can. This can be to either:<\/p>\n realizing<\/em> <\/span>this dream was a pink cloud, an unrealistic vision<\/em> <\/span>of what you thought<\/em><\/span> life should look like in order to be happy and thus, not worth regretting,<\/p>\n or<\/span> it can be a stimulus to make a concrete plan<\/em><\/span> to actually start taking steps towards realizing a different life, a life you dream of, a life that will fulfill your need to live as you.<\/p>\n Once again, it\u2019s a call to take your life into your own hands<\/strong><\/span>. It\u2019s all up to you*. You decide how you feel. You decide what you do. Let go of that feeling of regret<\/strong><\/span>, or rather convert it into your wake-up call to take action<\/strong><\/span>. Good luck and enjoy being in the driver\u2019s seat of your life!<\/p>\n