How often do we really listen?

How often are we fully present in a conversation?

I read some good advice the other day:

“For every time you speak, you should listen 10 times”

That made me stop for a moment and I do plead guilty here too.

I’ve made a promise to myself to listen more, to listen better, to be fully present.

So often, we are already formulating an answer in our head and therefor we listen only partially and

we don’t get what the other person is really trying to say.

That makes our answers often:

completely meaningless,

unnecessary,

or selfish even.

That’s because our ego is doing the talking:

we love to share experiences, to share knowledge,

we like to be heard

(funny isn’t it because that is exactly what the other person would like to have too),

we like to be liked,

we like to be funny,

we like to be witty.

And that is all our uncertainty talking, our ego.

We need proof,

proof in like ‘people do listen to us’ , to know that

we are worth being listened to,

we are worth being liked,

we are worth being loved.

Once you feel worthy, once you feel loved, you don’t need that proof anymore, you just know you are enough.

Learning to feel you’re enough, is the answer to that uncertainty, to that not being present, to that not listening enough.

Once you are confident, you’ll stop needing to be heard,

you’ll stop needing people to listen to you all the time.

Now is the time to start doing the listening ourselves,

to start focusing on hearing instead of talking.

I know that when you are passionate about something, it feels as if you can’t stop talking about it, right?

But let’s try this for a change:

every time you feel like talking, ask yourself:

“What if I listened for a while?”

“What if I let somebody else do the talking?”

“What if I listened to the silence?”

You’ll feel the shift in yourself, you’ll shift from:

Being eager to find an answer as quickly as possible to

Enjoying what the other person is telling you.

Wondering if you’ re smart enough to

Learning from the other person’s story.

Thinking about yourself to

Completely focusing on the other person.

By listening:

We learn,

We make other people happy because they feel heard (remember how good that feels),

We observe better,

We hear better,

And therefor if and when we decide to answer, our answer will be more accurate, more empathetic.

By being silent, we will also hear our own inner voice,

We will be able to get to know our real inner self,

We will be able to know,

We will be able to feel

enough,

worthy,

loved,

connected.

That’s when you will really feel ‘at home’, really feel connected to the Universe.My invitation to you all this week is:

Listen,

Listen to others when they are speaking,

Listen to the silence when no one is speaking,

Listen to nature,

Just listen,

And you’ll hear all your answers.

You’ll feel whole.

You’ll feel connected.

You’ll feel enough.

Thank you all for reading me.

Namaste.

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be