“Happiness is the way”

 Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

This is so true.

You only have to want it.

I know, I know, hold your horses,

I hear you,

not every day can be peachy and smelling like roses.

But you do have a lot to say in the matter.

Dr Sue Morter and Marci Shimoff say it this way:

No blaming,

No shaming,

No complaining.

If you practice this, you’ll already feel a huge difference in your life.

Is it easy? No way!

People seem to be addicted to complaining.

But if you want to stop this habit badly enough,

you’ll start being aware of it.

Every time you do one of the above:

pause,

stop the negative thinking,

stop the trash talking out loud (or in your head).

You can make it fun by making a game out of it.

You can do this at work, at home, at your sports club:

you promise each other to put a euro in a designated jar every time you slip by blaming, shaming or complaining. Believe me the first couple of days, you’ll slip a lot!

This is just a way to make you conscious, not to punish you.

No, we steer away from all the negative as much as possible, otherwise you’re shaming again. (another euro in the jar :-))

Then do something fun, something positive with the gathered money.

If you don’t want to put money in a jar, you can also promise to do chores, or to make lunch for each other, or whatever.This way, you’ll practice to -not only- stop, but also to turn around your thinking.

No more should have, could have, …

Instead of blaming someone or something,

think: what can I do to make this situation better. We are only responsible for our own actions, so no use blaming others, as you can’t control what other people do or say.

Instead of shaming and feeling like an idiot and keep repeating how stupidly you acted, just learn from the situation and you’ll behave differently the next time. Nobody is perfect, so neither are you. Would you judge your best friend so harshly if they had behaved the way you did? I guess not, huh? So be your own best friend and stop judging yourself so severely.

Instead of complaining, see if you can do something about the problem: Yes? Do it. No? Well, complaining won’t improve the situation either so you might as well stop it.

These changes in your thinking -and therefor in the way you feel and act- already make a world of difference.

I know the critics say:

you bury your head in the sand if you always look for the positive,

this is not how the ‘real’ world’ works.

Let me ask you this: how does your ‘real’ world work out for you?

Has blaming ever solved a problem?

Has shaming ever made you feel any better and made you behave in a more constructive way?

Has complaining ever brought you closer to any solutions?

No, it hasn’t and that’s what I learned too.

That’s why I believe that looking for the positive,

looking for solutions is the way to feel better.

No matter how much you stress out,

No matter how much you complain,

At the end of the day: the problem is still there,

You still feel horrible and maybe even worse, because the more energy you give to something, the bigger it becomes for better or for worse.

This is my request for you this week:

Stop giving energy to negative stuff,

Be aware when your thoughts go that way,

Turn them around into something constructive,

And you’ll feel your mood shifting.

The better your mood,

the higher the frequency you’re vibrating on,

the easier you’ll find a way out.

Enjoy this new path!

Happiness is the way.

Thank you all for reading me!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be