You all know I like to start my blogs with a quote, a question or a statement: here’s the one for this week.
“Life will always challenge you in order to bring you
from rigidity to flexibility, from control to allowing.” Panache Desai.
Now more than ever, we need to let go of the outcome.
We all have plans, we all have goals we want to achieve, we all have dreams,
But nobody is sure of how and when we will get there.
Now, it’s the virus that dictates us to let go of the outcome but
what if we could learn this to be our standard MO?
I would like to ask you to start living that way,
because that’s what life is really all about.
We have dreams, plans, projects,
but if we hold on to them with clenched fists,
all that can happen is disappointment.
Nothing ever works out exactly the way we wanted it to.
Know the general direction of the path you would like to walk in life,
and then just watch, enjoy, see what comes along that path.
If we are open to change, to unexpected challenges,
We feel less disappointed, less hurt, less lost.
Let’s face it: when are we feeling unhappy?
When people do not act the way we thought they would,
When things don’t work out the way we envisioned them to,
When we suddenly have to change our plans because of something ‘outside of our control’.
The moment we learn to be flexible, to expect the unexpected, to allow life to happen to us,
that’s when you are really living/ enjoying your life.
Control is an illusion,
Control is just another form of fear: fear that we won’t be able to handle anything we did not plan, fear that another outcome won’t be ‘as good’,
Control is just your ego talking: “my way or the highway”
Control is shutting yourself off from greater opportunities, from learning, from growing.
I like this little joke which I think is so true:
“If you want to make God laugh, tell Her your plans” (or Him 🙂 sorry I couldn’t resist :-))
That really is what happens all the time, right?
You were planning to do this and oh yes, ‘something’ came up and you had to change your plans,
The most obvious example is now this virus.
But it needn’t always be this huge.
Just think about it: how many times in life have you already had to adapt, to change your plans?
The day we accept, this is how things work, we are not bothered by it anymore.
We then know life is always asking us to be flexible, to adjust to new circumstances.
Nothing lasts, everything is always changing, everything is in constant movement.
So are we, not one cell in our body is still the same as 10 years ago: everything is constantly changing, always evolving.
It is absurd to hold on too tightly,
it just isn’t possible to keep things from changing.
Once you know and accept this, life becomes a smoother ride.
Allow things to happen,
go with the flow.
As one of my biggest examples in life, Dr. Susan Jeffers, says:
“do the best you can at any moment but let go of the outcome”.
One of her own examples, is a very simple but a very clear example of how letting go can help us:
“She was always very afraid of flying and every time it was a bumpy flight, she would squeeze the armrests, try to steer that whole plane with those armrests and try to keep it steady.
Until the moment she realized how absurd this was. She was exhausted from squeezing and trying to keep the plane from bouncing. She was afraid and she felt she failed because the plane was still bumping all over the place no matter how hard she tried. The only result she got was even more anxiety. So, once she realized the absurdity of what she was trying to do, she had a good laugh and decided from now on: to let the plane fly its course, to trust the pilots and to just relax in her seat and wait until the storm had passed”
If you project this to any other situation, you’ll notice how letting go, enables you to relax.
Whenever life gets tough, whenever plans need to be changed: look at what you can do and where you just need to sit back and let things pass.
Being flexible and allowing life to be, are key elements to living a happier, more relaxed, more satisfying life.
My invitation to you all this week is:
Know what you want in life but be flexible about how you are going to achieve it,
Let go of the one defined outcome you have in your head, let go of the one planned itinerary and just see where life brings you.
Enjoy the unexpected,
Learn to see the benefits in all the challenges you meet.
“Courage is accepting the challenge of the unknown”, as Annemaree Rowley says in one of her guided meditations.
I know sometimes you don’t see it right away, but there is a positive side to everything.
It’s a given in nature: everything has a positive and a negative pole.
We, humans, don’t believe this as we don’t always see it, but it’s there.
Take a step back, breathe, do what is in your power and let go of everything else.
It’s in this place of non-ego, of non-emotional state you’ll be able to see more clearly.
You can’t change the waves but you can learn how to surf! And yes, you’ll fall down more times than you can count and maybe at some point, you’ll even feel as if you’re drowning, but you’ll get the hang of it eventually.
Practice, practice, practice.
Thank you all for reading me and enjoy life with all its quirks!