Lifecoachwomen.be

” We desire the opposite of what we once desired. Our prayers are at war with our prayers, our plans are at war with our plans” 

Seneca, Moral Letters 45.6

How so?

How are our plans at war with our plans?

Well, here is the thing:

What we really want, what we really desire,

and what we actually do to obtain this,

are more often than not, opposite to one another.

We would like to feel good,

but we complain the whole time that we are not feeling good.

We would like to change jobs,

but we never put in a real effort to find that job of our dreams.

We would like to lose weight,

but we feel we deserve this treat as a reward.

We would like to have a fit body,

but we never practice on a regular basis.

We would like to live in a clean, spacious house,

but we keep buying things so that our place is stuffed, and feels full and stuffy because there’s no room to clean, to breathe, to move around.

You get my drift.

Become aware of how you treat your ‘dreams’.

First of all, reflect on them,

Make sure you really know what is important to you,

What is worth the effort?

Know this first because you’ll have to make a real effort to achieve what you desire.

Once you know what you want,

Imagine yourself already living that dream.

Visualize, meditate on how this ‘new you’, your new “reality’ feels like.

Do it every day,

Become still,

And live your dream.

Hold on to that feeling.

Create in your mind this new you over and over again.

Plan how you are going to integrate this in your day-to-day life.

Make a step by step program of how you are going to get what you desire.

Stick to your program.

Do every day at least one thing that will bring you one step closer to your goal.

Never falter, never waver.

Remember the feeling you have during your visualization,

Remember why you want this,

Remember your dream.

There is only one way to get it: work towards it day by day.

If you are about to do something that is “at war” with your dreams,

something that will sabotage your progress,

stop, don’t do it.

As Martin Luther King Jr once said:

“Stop the civil war that is going on in your head.”

Don’t let one hand work against the other.

The Stoics say that this war is usually a result of our screwed-up judgements, our biased thoughts.

Work on that.

Manage your thoughts:

it’s the only way you’ll be able to change your behavior.

Become very clear about

what you think,

what you believe in,

what you want,

how you want to live,

who you want to be.Once this is crystal clear,

there won’t be any need to judge anymore,

there won’t be any biased thoughts anymore,

you’ll just live your dreams,

you’ll just mind your own business,

you’ll know what you want and how to achieve it.

Then you’ll feel

the inner peace,

the knowing,

the being-where-you-want-to-be,

the connectedness,

the coming-home-to-yourself.

The summer holidays are coming up, so my invitation to you this week is:

Become still,

Put your hand on your heart,

And listen to your inner self.

Stop the civil war inside you,

Find your place,

Find your peace.

Namaste

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

7 steps to live a joyful, relaxed and fulfilling life.

I once read these 7 steps and as I found them so powerful, I would like to share them with you.

Step 1: Serenity

Being in a serene state, gives you peace,

makes you accept what life brings to you.

I am not saying that you have to passively undergo all that is happening around you, no.

But just by accepting that things do happen beyond your control,

you can relax, you can react in a peaceful way.

That’s not the same as being a fatalist.

Choosing to be, choosing to live your life no matter what the circumstances bring you:

that brings you peace, that brings you serenity.

Step 2: Regularity

Creating a routine, having a schedule brings you calmness.

Don’t see having regularity in your life as something that holds you back.

No, having a certain regularity in life, gives you peace of mind, creates space to do things because you’re not wasting any time anymore.

You know what to do, when you’re going to do and when you have time to spare, when there is space in your agenda.

That brings calmness and so you can breathe easily.

Step 3: Absence of vanity

When you stop being vain,

when you stop thinking, it is all about you,

when you stop letting your ego run the show:

you’ll start listening to others,

you’ll stop comparing,

You’ll start noticing all the beauty around you,

you’ll start being more loving, more compassionate,

and that will give you joy.

Step 4: Sincerity

Speak the truth, act in accordance of how you are feeling, of what you are thinking.

Always be respectful but do say what you are really feeling.

Drop the mask, drop the act,

be honest with yourself and with others.

That’s the only way there can be a real connection.

Feeling connected, feeling you belong somewhere brings you joy.

Step 5: Simplicity

Keep life simple, keep things simple.

The less you have, the easier, the clearer life becomes.

Return to your true self, to your source.

Choose what is important to you:

you can have anything but not everything.

Choose wisely.

When your attention is divided among a lot of things,

nothing gets your complete focus.

So, choose what matters most to you and give it all of your attention.

That way you’ll live a fulfilling life.

Step 6: Veracity

Don’t ‘work’ the facts, don’t twist the truth.

Be reliable, act upon your promises.

Be truthful.

What you think, what you say and what you do, must be one and the same.

Step 7: Equanimity

No matter what is going on around you, keep your own mood peaceful.

Always be a loving, kind, compassionate person.

Joy and pain are part of life.

We all have to deal with it.

Don’t let it dictate your mood,

don’t let it rule your world.

Be in charge of how you feel, of how you react.

Everybody benefits of a respectful, calm behavior in any situation.

I invite you all to think about these steps and you’ll know where you can improve, where you can become a better, more peaceful person.

The beauty of it is that EVERYBODY benefits from your improvement: YOU in the first place, because you’ll feel so much better.

And when you feel better, everybody around you will be influenced by it.

I wish you all a very joyful, peaceful, calm week!

Thank you all for reading me.

Namaste

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Going through life is like traveling with a back pack.

Everything you keep,

everything you put in that backpack,

makes it a lot heavier to carry.

At first, we don’t notice it,

the load is still light to carry,

we are not tired yet.

But the longer we walk,

and the more we hold on to things,

the heavier the burden becomes.

We get tired,

we feel our energy waver

and we don’t understand why.

Why does life ‘suddenly’ seem so much harder to bear?

How come we can’t cope with life the way we used to?

We are puzzled,

We ‘fight’ it because no, we are not weak….

And yet, we feel our energy draining even more.

Let’s take a look at what we carry in our ‘back pack’.

Do we really need everything we hold on to?

No!!!!

On the contrary,

The more you let go of,

The lighter life will feel.

Try it, really do.

You’ll be amazed by how much you can let go of.

I am not just talking about the physical stuff, but also about the emotional stuff.

We carry so much hurt, anger, resentment, frustration and for what?

What good does that do you?

None!

It eats away all your energy.

Just consider for a moment this question one of the students once asked their professor in the context of ‘how heavy is the stuff we carry around?’.

The professor asked them a question in return:

“Is holding a glass of water with your arm straight up a heavy task to do?”

They pondered upon their answer and came up with:

not if you hold it for a minute,

maybe, for some, not even when they have to hold it up for like 15 minutes, or for half an hour for the real die-hards.

But if you have to keep it up for hours, days, …., weeks, years:

the task becomes impossible.

So, everything you carry with you,

becomes heavy,

unbearable even,

at one point.

Have you reached that point yet?

Do you want to reach that point?

Or will you start letting go today?

Let go of all the clutter in your house, in your car.

Just keep what you need and what you absolutely adore.

Stuff you keep to show others,

Stuff you think you are supposed to have, supposed to use,

but you actually do not feel you need them:

Let it all go, get rid of it.

Clear out your cabinets, your rooms, your closet, …

Let the air enter your house, enter all of your rooms.

The less stuff you have, the lighter it feels,

the more the energy can flow through.

The same goes for your body:

drink water, eat fruits and vegetables.

Make your body clean so that here too,

the energy can pass freely.

The hardest part is letting go of the stuff in your head:

it is really simple, but not easy, to do:

you have to make a choice!

“Do I want to spent another minute

feeling bad?

feeling down?

feeling drained?”

Yes?

Ok, just continue the way you are doing right now. The choice is yours.

No?

Then let go of all that the stuff that makes you feel this way.

Stop thinking about the stuff that drains you.

Start thinking about things that lift you up,

things that put a smile on your face.

Is it easy?

In the beginning absolutely not!

We are addicted to our negative thoughts,

we keep them going around and around in our head.

We know them so well it feels like home.

So, we wallow in them.

But beware!

They don’t make you happy!!!!

Change your thoughts!

Time after time, again and again.

If you feel you’re going down that well-known path again,

Change your course!

The more you practice it, the easier it will become.

Trust me, you can switch your thoughts to what makes you feel energized.

You don’t remember what makes you feel happy?

Go into nature,

Sit in a quiet place,

Put your hands on your heart and breathe.

Just sit there and listen to the silence.

Do this every day until you get in touch

with your true self again,

with the person you really are,

with the person who started life with a light backpack and gathered all that stuff throughout the years.

Unload your backpack,

Look very closely at what was in it and decide what you want to keep carrying around every day.

Only keep what is good for you,

what gives you energy.

This is my invitation for you this week:

Unload all the things you hold on to,

Look at them,

Choose with your heart what you are going to keep and what you will let go of.

It will take some time.

It will feel painful sometimes, even when you want to let go of things that make you unhappy. (because it feels so familiar)

But remember letting go is difficult one time, holding on to something painful keeps hurting day after day, year after year.

You’ve gathered stuff over the years, so take your time to unload.

Don’t rush, go at your own pace but keep moving forward.

Let go of something every day.

Even letting go of a small thing keeps you in the right mindset of clearing out the clutter (physical, emotional).

Once you continue your path with a lighter burden,

you’ll feel so happy, so relieved, so refreshed.

Enjoy the journey!

Thank you all for reading me!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Why do we always take things personal?

Why do so quickly feel hurt, attacked, wronged, ….?

Why?

Why do we always think it is about us?

This is actually quite absurd because the funny thing is:

it hardly ever is about us…

We worry,

We fret,

We get angry,

We get upset,

We think about revenge (that’s a real problem solver, isn’t it?!?),

We feel sad,

….

And all the time, we could have avoided those energy drainers.

Just by realizing: it is not about us!

People live their lives,

We don’t always know what is going on in their lives, and even if we do,

we hardly ever know the whole story.

People have their worries, their problems, their thoughts, their emotions.

We interact with them,

and when they (re-)act in a way we did not anticipate:

we immediately get on our high horse because our ego says:

we do not deserve this,

we work so hard and they don’t even appreciate it,

we are nice and they snap,

blablabla…

We create a whole cinema in our head.

We make up a complete story in detail(!)and we keep it running over and over again in our head.

Until we start believing it!

That’s the thing:

our subconscious believes what we keep telling ourselves,

whether it really happened or whether we just imagined it.

And once we believe it, we get even more emotional and we think even more about it and yes, we keep running in that treadmill of our thoughts, emotions, thoughts, emotions, ….

We literally drive ourselves crazy,

And then we wonder why there are conflicts between people.

You have to consciously stop that train of thoughts, they are only thoughts, you can consciously change your own thoughts.

You have to make an effort because it doesn’t come easy.

It’s really worth it though because once you stop thinking those upsetting thoughts, the emotions will attenuate too.

It’s the story in our head that creates all the emotions, so stop the story and you’ll feel the immediate result, you’ll feel your emotions calm down!

You’ll then be able to see that how people act is NOT ABOUT YOU.

People don’t think about you, they have their own life to live.

And even when they do think about you, they forget about it almost instantly.

Have you ever checked your story with the ‘actors’ of that story?

How many times did they mean it as you thought they meant it?

How many times did they not even realize you had an issue with what was said or done until you asked them about it?

I was a master in story making in my head, I could go on all day, or even days, weeks.

At the end you have an Oscar winning film in your head!!

You really do,

And nothing about it is true!

It’s just stuff you made up in your mind, it’s only thoughts.

You do not have to believe everything you think!

That’s the beauty of it.

Change your thoughts and you’ll change your emotions.

Thoughts trigger emotions and emotions make you focus on the subject even more: energy flows where attention goes.

The more you focus on it, the more significant the issue becomes.

That’s why I invite you all to:

Take a step back,

Breathe,

Check your thoughts,

Stop the story telling.

And if something is really bothering you:

Make no story of your own so that there are no excessive emotions.

Talk to the person(s) involved in a calm and rational way.

You’ll notice that you almost always get the situation resolved

with no hard feelings left,

with no lingering anger,

and faster than you would ever have imagined!

Most of the times there was no issue at all.

When there was a hurtful situation, you now know they didn’t mean to hurt you, there was something going on in their life and you just got in the line of fire, so now you can let it go.

Everybody wins!

I really adore the following saying:

“Hate is like drinking poison and hoping the other one will die”

That is so true.

Hate doesn’t solve anything, on the contrary:

it makes you feel sick, it drains you

and the other person -in most cases- not even realizes that there is an issue at hand.

It really is absurd to hate.

My recipe for being happy, for living a good life is:

knowing it is not about us,

talking things through before we get ahead of ourselves,

interacting with respect, sympathy

and having the will to co-exist in a loving, friendly way.

That is what I wish it for you.

Thank you all for reading me.

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

I find this a very powerful thought, not only for ourselves but also to be able to be more empathetic towards others.

When I read this, for me, this is an invitation:

To learn,

To grow,

To open myself up to new ideas,

To see things from another perspective,

To listen and try to understand,

To become silent and peaceful, …

Because once you do all of the above and more,

you’ll know better and so you can start doing better.

This powerful thought also makes it easier to look at people differently.

Instead of getting angry, fighting them, just know that they don’t know any better yet:

Engaging in a fight makes everybody lose, not engaging in a fight, makes the fight go away as you don’t fuel their anger, their frustration, their pain anymore. Knowing that people fight from a place of pain helps to be more understanding. When you don’t engage in the fight, you have ground to come to a mutual solution:

love is our most powerful tool.

Instead of judging, see them on their path going forward at their pace.

They’ll learn, eventually, or maybe not.

That’s ok too, that is their choice, their responsibility.

The master appears when the student is ready. You can’t force consciousness upon someone. They have to be ready to learn.

Instead of punishing and being harsh, just show them another way to resolve issues by living in a loving, peaceful, respectful way.By being an example, by showing them there is another way, you can teach people what you know, just by living it not by forcing it upon them, not by judging them.

It’s up to them what they pick up and what they will start practicing.

“Be the change you want to see in the world”

says Mahatma Gandhi and that is my absolute favorite saying.

Getting angry because others don’t do the things you would like them to do, leads to nothing. They are responsible for their actions, not you. Don’t focus on what you do not like.

There are also so many ways of living a good life, it doesn’t necessarily mean your way is the only ‘right’ way.

Transforming into the person you respect, doing what you belief is the right thing to do, is what you need to focus on. That way, you’ll keep focusing on what you do want, on what you do like.

Life is a continuous path of learning,

of understanding more and more as we grow older,

of learning from our mistakes,

of becoming better instead of bitter.

That’s how we will be able to live a

wiser,

gentler,

less judgmental,

more loving,

more knowing life.

And that is the moment we can start doing better.

My invitation to you all this week is:

Learn,

grow,

embrace your teachers,

become more conscious,

practice what you know,

and that is when you will start doing better.

Namaste

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

How often do we really listen?

How often are we fully present in a conversation?

I read some good advice the other day:

“For every time you speak, you should listen 10 times”

That made me stop for a moment and I do plead guilty here too.

I’ve made a promise to myself to listen more, to listen better, to be fully present.

So often, we are already formulating an answer in our head and therefor we listen only partially and

we don’t get what the other person is really trying to say.

That makes our answers often:

completely meaningless,

unnecessary,

or selfish even.

That’s because our ego is doing the talking:

we love to share experiences, to share knowledge,

we like to be heard

(funny isn’t it because that is exactly what the other person would like to have too),

we like to be liked,

we like to be funny,

we like to be witty.

And that is all our uncertainty talking, our ego.

We need proof,

proof in like ‘people do listen to us’ , to know that

we are worth being listened to,

we are worth being liked,

we are worth being loved.

Once you feel worthy, once you feel loved, you don’t need that proof anymore, you just know you are enough.

Learning to feel you’re enough, is the answer to that uncertainty, to that not being present, to that not listening enough.

Once you are confident, you’ll stop needing to be heard,

you’ll stop needing people to listen to you all the time.

Now is the time to start doing the listening ourselves,

to start focusing on hearing instead of talking.

I know that when you are passionate about something, it feels as if you can’t stop talking about it, right?

But let’s try this for a change:

every time you feel like talking, ask yourself:

“What if I listened for a while?”

“What if I let somebody else do the talking?”

“What if I listened to the silence?”

You’ll feel the shift in yourself, you’ll shift from:

Being eager to find an answer as quickly as possible to

Enjoying what the other person is telling you.

Wondering if you’ re smart enough to

Learning from the other person’s story.

Thinking about yourself to

Completely focusing on the other person.

By listening:

We learn,

We make other people happy because they feel heard (remember how good that feels),

We observe better,

We hear better,

And therefor if and when we decide to answer, our answer will be more accurate, more empathetic.

By being silent, we will also hear our own inner voice,

We will be able to get to know our real inner self,

We will be able to know,

We will be able to feel

enough,

worthy,

loved,

connected.

That’s when you will really feel ‘at home’, really feel connected to the Universe.My invitation to you all this week is:

Listen,

Listen to others when they are speaking,

Listen to the silence when no one is speaking,

Listen to nature,

Just listen,

And you’ll hear all your answers.

You’ll feel whole.

You’ll feel connected.

You’ll feel enough.

Thank you all for reading me.

Namaste.

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

“Happiness is the way”

 Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

This is so true.

You only have to want it.

I know, I know, hold your horses,

I hear you,

not every day can be peachy and smelling like roses.

But you do have a lot to say in the matter.

Dr Sue Morter and Marci Shimoff say it this way:

No blaming,

No shaming,

No complaining.

If you practice this, you’ll already feel a huge difference in your life.

Is it easy? No way!

People seem to be addicted to complaining.

But if you want to stop this habit badly enough,

you’ll start being aware of it.

Every time you do one of the above:

pause,

stop the negative thinking,

stop the trash talking out loud (or in your head).

You can make it fun by making a game out of it.

You can do this at work, at home, at your sports club:

you promise each other to put a euro in a designated jar every time you slip by blaming, shaming or complaining. Believe me the first couple of days, you’ll slip a lot!

This is just a way to make you conscious, not to punish you.

No, we steer away from all the negative as much as possible, otherwise you’re shaming again. (another euro in the jar :-))

Then do something fun, something positive with the gathered money.

If you don’t want to put money in a jar, you can also promise to do chores, or to make lunch for each other, or whatever.This way, you’ll practice to -not only- stop, but also to turn around your thinking.

No more should have, could have, …

Instead of blaming someone or something,

think: what can I do to make this situation better. We are only responsible for our own actions, so no use blaming others, as you can’t control what other people do or say.

Instead of shaming and feeling like an idiot and keep repeating how stupidly you acted, just learn from the situation and you’ll behave differently the next time. Nobody is perfect, so neither are you. Would you judge your best friend so harshly if they had behaved the way you did? I guess not, huh? So be your own best friend and stop judging yourself so severely.

Instead of complaining, see if you can do something about the problem: Yes? Do it. No? Well, complaining won’t improve the situation either so you might as well stop it.

These changes in your thinking -and therefor in the way you feel and act- already make a world of difference.

I know the critics say:

you bury your head in the sand if you always look for the positive,

this is not how the ‘real’ world’ works.

Let me ask you this: how does your ‘real’ world work out for you?

Has blaming ever solved a problem?

Has shaming ever made you feel any better and made you behave in a more constructive way?

Has complaining ever brought you closer to any solutions?

No, it hasn’t and that’s what I learned too.

That’s why I believe that looking for the positive,

looking for solutions is the way to feel better.

No matter how much you stress out,

No matter how much you complain,

At the end of the day: the problem is still there,

You still feel horrible and maybe even worse, because the more energy you give to something, the bigger it becomes for better or for worse.

This is my request for you this week:

Stop giving energy to negative stuff,

Be aware when your thoughts go that way,

Turn them around into something constructive,

And you’ll feel your mood shifting.

The better your mood,

the higher the frequency you’re vibrating on,

the easier you’ll find a way out.

Enjoy this new path!

Happiness is the way.

Thank you all for reading me!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

“Only Love Today”

Rachel Macy Stafford.

She wrote a whole book about “Only love today” and reading it, absolutely makes you pause and think about how you relate to others.

Love really is the only way:

The only kind way,

The only human way,

The only respectful way,

The only appropriate way,

Hence, the absolute only way.

You can bully people, you can twist somebody’s arm,

You can shout, you can command, …But to what end?

If you are ‘lucky’, people will do what you order them to do,

But what did you really achieve?

They won’t respect you,

they will only fear you.

They won’t like you,

they will -at best- tolerate you,

They won’t spontaneously help you,

they will only do the strict minimum.

They won’t come to you just to be with you,

they will avoid you.

They won’t be honest with you,

they’ll only tell you the necessary.

So, take a moment and really think about all the situations:

where you -for the moment- would never consider being kind or being loving,

and turn the situation around to: you

being kind,

being respectful,

being open,

believing people are actually capable of doing what you ask them to do.

You’ll be surprised what a whole new, wonderful world will open itself for you.

Your children will be happy because:

you treat them respectfully,

you ask them nicely,

you praise them after they have finished their task, regardless of the result!!

(They’ll get better over time, because now they will be motivated to try again. They will feel you believe in them.)

Your co-workers will come to you and will enjoy working with/for you because now you treat them respectfully.

Your pets will listen to you because now you are gentle and rewarding.

Shopkeepers will help you with a smile because you ask with a smile.

Wherever you are, when you are nice to people, people are nice to you too.

I know, you’ll meet the eternal grumpy one, or it may take some time for people to get used to being treated nicely

(yes, unfortunately people are not used to being treated respectfully),

But they’ll warm to you eventually.

Just think positively about whoever you meet.

Think:

“How can I help you?”

“What can I do for you?”

“How are you today? and really wanting to hear the answer.”

“I believe in you”

“I know you’re doing the best you can”

“Don’t worry, it’s okay”

And this is not only a very nice way to treat others, you’ll be amazed by how it makes YOU feel too!!!!

Because be honest, when you command somebody to do something, when you shout at your dog, when you keep yelling at your kids, when you fret because the bus driver was grumpy, …

How does this really make you feel?

Not very good, right?

In shifting your own mood, your own intentions,

You are making a shift in the vibrations you’re sending out.

And as you can read in my last week’s blog:

You really do attract similar things, things which are vibrating on that same frequency.

Try it!

Be nice,

Be open,

Be forgiving,

Be patient,

Be appreciative,

Be love.

And you’ll get your biggest reward ever:

People will return the favor.

That’s how the law of attraction works.

Practice kindness over and over again and you’ll feel the mood shifting wherever you are.

“Don’t let the world change your smile,

Let your smile change the world.”

Thank you all for reading me!

Namaste

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become”

Carl Jung

Often people get very upset when you only even suggest that what happened to them does not need to determine how they feel.

People blame,

People keep repeating what happened to them,

People keep telling the story over and over again,

People keep reliving what made them feel bad.

As long as you focus on what you do NOT want, the longer you will feel the negative emotion associated with that thought and the longer you will remain in that unwanted situation.

Buddha said it so many years ago:

“what you think, you become,

What you feel, you attract,

What you imagine, you create.”

This is the most powerful insight you can ever have.

Just think about it for a moment, and realize its power:

What you think, you create.

So why are you still thinking about negative stuff, about what you do not want, about what you do not like??????

The longer you keep focusing on the drama, as in

thinking about it,

telling people about it,

hammering on the injustice of the situation, …

the longer you will stay on that vibration and the longer you will keep attracting similar things.

The only way out of a negative situation is thinking about

what you DO want,

how you can SOLVE the problem.

If you are focusing on solutions, you are on a very different vibration than if you are thinking about the problem itself.

I know it seems like a very thin line between thinking about the problem itself and thinking about solutions for that same problem.

But the difference is HUGE!!

Reliving injustice by talking about it, keeps you on a vibration which will attract more of that injustice.

Focusing on what you want and how you can get out of that situation puts you on a vibration where you will ‘find’ solutions.

It’s the law of attraction.

You cannot create a positive future by focusing on the negative things of the past and the present.

You need to focus on how you want your future to look like,

to be able to actually create that future.

Envision what you want.

Once you understand this and once you start living by this very simple -but never easy, I know- principle, you can always feel good.

Accepting where you are right now and thinking about what you want are key elements to feeling good.

The only way to stop feeling bad, is to stop thinking about the things that made you feel bad.

The only way to stop thinking about those negative things, is to actively steer your thoughts to things you DO want.

It’s something that you can learn by practicing every day.

The moment you feel your thoughts are slipping towards your dark place again, don’t be upset, don’t be hard on yourself (because that would keep you on that vibe of feeling bad), just acknowledge it and steer away from the dark.

You are the only one responsible for how you feel.

My god, that used to piss me off when somebody said that!

I immediately had a whole list ready of why and what and who made me feel unhappy.

NO!

You, and only you decide how you feel by steering your thoughts towards positive, wanted thoughts/situations.

By knowing what you like,

By knowing who you are,

By knowing that you are enough,

By knowing you are loved:

even when you ‘think’ nobody loves you, you do love yourself, right? So, you are always loved.

Also know that it’s your own dark thoughts that make you temporarily blind for the love of others.

So, again, you are always loved,

it becomes easier and easier to go to your happy thoughts.

The good thing about living creatures is:

It’s in our nature to want to feel good,

It’s how we are created.

We want to feel good, so work with that creative force.

Do the things,

think the thoughts,

that will bring you onto that vibration of feeling good and more good stuff will come your way.

Believe in your creative power,

Believe in your own responsibility.

Whenever you feel bad, it is an indication that you are deviating from what makes you feel good.

Steer away from it

by looking for the positive in the situation,

by looking at something or someone from a different perspective,

by looking for solutions,

by thinking about stuff that you DO like.

Learn to listen to your emotional GPS, it’s never wrong.

And know that YOU are in the driver seat, so it is up to you to decide which road you will take.

Good luck with discovering your emotional GPS, and

with learning how to navigate through your life,

with learning how to feel good.

It really is all up to you!

Thank you all for reading me!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

You all know I like to start my blogs with a quote, a question or a statement: here’s the one for this week.

“Life will always challenge you in order to bring you

from rigidity to flexibility, from control to allowing.” Panache Desai.

Now more than ever, we need to let go of the outcome.

We all have plans, we all have goals we want to achieve, we all have dreams,

But nobody is sure of how and when we will get there.

Now, it’s the virus that dictates us to let go of the outcome but

what if we could learn this to be our standard MO?

I would like to ask you to start living that way,

because that’s what life is really all about.

We have dreams, plans, projects,

but if we hold on to them with clenched fists,

all that can happen is disappointment.

Nothing ever works out exactly the way we wanted it to.

Know the general direction of the path you would like to walk in life,

and then just watch, enjoy, see what comes along that path.

If we are open to change, to unexpected challenges,

We feel less disappointed, less hurt, less lost.

Let’s face it: when are we feeling unhappy?

When people do not act the way we thought they would,

When things don’t work out the way we envisioned them to,

When we suddenly have to change our plans because of something ‘outside of our control’.

The moment we learn to be flexible, to expect the unexpected, to allow life to happen to us,

that’s when you are really living/ enjoying your life.

Control is an illusion,

Control is just another form of fear: fear that we won’t be able to handle anything we did not plan, fear that another outcome won’t be ‘as good’,

Control is just your ego talking: “my way or the highway”

Control is shutting yourself off from greater opportunities, from learning, from growing.

I like this little joke which I think is so true:

“If you want to make God laugh, tell Her your plans” (or Him 🙂 sorry I couldn’t resist :-))

That really is what happens all the time, right?

You were planning to do this and oh yes, ‘something’ came up and you had to change your plans,

The most obvious example is now this virus.

But it needn’t always be this huge.

Just think about it: how many times in life have you already had to adapt, to change your plans?

The day we accept, this is how things work, we are not bothered by it anymore.

We then know life is always asking us to be flexible, to adjust to new circumstances.

Nothing lasts, everything is always changing, everything is in constant movement.

So are we, not one cell in our body is still the same as 10 years ago: everything is constantly changing, always evolving.

It is absurd to hold on too tightly,

it just isn’t possible to keep things from changing.

Once you know and accept this, life becomes a smoother ride.

Allow things to happen,

go with the flow.

As one of my biggest examples in life, Dr. Susan Jeffers, says:

“do the best you can at any moment but let go of the outcome”.

One of her own examples, is a very simple but a very clear example of how letting go can help us:

“She was always very afraid of flying and every time it was a bumpy flight, she would squeeze the armrests, try to steer that whole plane with those armrests and try to keep it steady.

Until the moment she realized how absurd this was. She was exhausted from squeezing and trying to keep the plane from bouncing. She was afraid and she felt she failed because the plane was still bumping all over the place no matter how hard she tried. The only result she got was even more anxiety. So, once she realized the absurdity of what she was trying to do, she had a good laugh and decided from now on: to let the plane fly its course, to trust the pilots and to just relax in her seat and wait until the storm had passed”

If you project this to any other situation, you’ll notice how letting go, enables you to relax.

Whenever life gets tough, whenever plans need to be changed: look at what you can do and where you just need to sit back and let things pass.

Being flexible and allowing life to be, are key elements to living a happier, more relaxed, more satisfying life.

My invitation to you all this week is:

Know what you want in life but be flexible about how you are going to achieve it,

Let go of the one defined outcome you have in your head, let go of the one planned itinerary and just see where life brings you.

Enjoy the unexpected,

Learn to see the benefits in all the challenges you meet.

“Courage is accepting the challenge of the unknown”, as Annemaree Rowley says in one of her guided meditations.

I know sometimes you don’t see it right away, but there is a positive side to everything.

It’s a given in nature: everything has a positive and a negative pole.

We, humans, don’t believe this as we don’t always see it, but it’s there.

Take a step back, breathe, do what is in your power and let go of everything else.

It’s in this place of non-ego, of non-emotional state you’ll be able to see more clearly.

You can’t change the waves but you can learn how to surf! And yes, you’ll fall down more times than you can count and maybe at some point you’ll feel as if you’re drowning, but you’ll get the hang of it eventually.

Practice, practice, practice

Thank you all for reading me and enjoy life with all its quirks!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be