Lifecoachwomen.be

“We do not see things as they are,

We see things as we are”

 The Talmud

That’s an interesting thought, isn’t it?

We always think that what we see, is what is really there, what is really happening.

But is that so?

I think we always see the colored version of “reality”.

We choose subconsciously the color in which we see the world.

If we are happy, things seem less heavy, less troublesome.

If we are in foul mood, everything irritates us, everything seems to trouble us.

If we are trustworthy, we will be more likely to trust others,

If we are paranoid, we will see conspiracy in every corner,

If we are dishonest, we will believe others are too.

So, we do actually see the things as we are.

The positive side of this is, that we can change the reality by changing how we think, how we act!

This is very powerful!!

Just think of it:

We can make reality better by consciously thinking in a more positive, happy way!

Waw! Isn’t that a precious gift!

Open this present and enjoy its wonderful wisdom!

Another benefit of being conscious about how reality feels, is that we can also be more understanding towards others!

I don’t think anyone can actually know how another person sees, experiences a certain situation, as we are not living in their head.

We all see the world through our own eyes, with our own history, with our own thoughts.

So do not assume you know what the other one is feeling, is going through, ask them and you’ll often be surprised to hear what they actually feel and think.

If we all are a little more empathetic, everyone will act more gently, will be more understanding of the other one’s feelings.

That can only result in more happiness, more peace.

And isn’t that what we are all seeking here during our journey on earth?

So, reflect upon these thoughts for a moment and make the world a better place for everyone! You will be the first to benefit from it. Why wait?

I wish you all a very warm, loving, happy, joyful summer!!!!

Thank you all for reading me and I’ll be back in September!!

Bye!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Bevrijd jezelf van alle verwachtingen!

Gooi het juk eindelijk af!

Laat die sociale druk wegvloeien!

Kijk in jouw hart,

Ontdek wie daar werkelijk leeft!

Wat zijn jouw normen, jouw waarden?

Wat maakt jou gelukkig?

Wat heb jij nodig, waar word jij blij van?

Maak een inventaris op van jouw leven en

Neem alles heel zorgvuldig onder de loep:

Wat ga ik behouden, wat sluit aan bij wie ik werkelijk ben?

Wat ga ik weglaten, wat klopt niet met mijn ‘ware ik’?

Neem de tijd,

kijk wat goed aanvoelt en wat wringt.

Leg jouw handen op jouw hart en voel de antwoorden.

Luister ook naar jouw lichaam.

Jouw lichaam vertelt wat niet goed gaat in jouw leven.

Spanningen hopen zich op als je naast jezelf leeft, als je jouw eigen waarden niet respecteert, als je’ ware ik’ niet (voldoende) aan bod komt.

Die spanningen zorgen ervoor dat jouw energie niet meer kan doorstromen en dat kan zich op oneindig veel manieren manifesteren.

Luister naar jouw lichaam, onderdruk niet louter de symptomen maar ga na, waar het scheef zit in jouw leven.

Vaak weten zelfs de dokters niet de oorzaak, dus hoe kunnen ze dan remediëren?

Maak die inventaris op,

Ruim op wat er niet thuishoort in JOUW plaatje.

Leef volgens wat jou gelukkig maakt

En je zal zien dat veel van die kwalen, spanningen, pijnpunten verdwijnen.

Het vergt wat inspanning, het vergt zeker moed om het juk van al die sociale verplichtingen, verwachtingen af te gooien.

Maar het loont zo de moeite eens je kan leven, kan ervaren hoe het ook anders kan!

(Her)ontdek jezelf en bepaal jouw eigen levensweg!

Het mooie is dat je op die weg ook jouw ware vrienden tegenkomt!

Heb geen schrik om bepaalde mensen te verliezen als je jouw ‘ware ik’ laat zien.

Diegenen die jou dan niet meer respecteren, waren geen echte vrienden, dus dan hoef je ook geen spijt te hebben als ze wegvallen.

Diegenen die jou wel nog steeds leuk vinden en jou respecteren in jouw waarden, zijn echte vrienden en die zal je altijd behouden.

Meer nog, ze zullen zich nog beter op hun gemak voelen bij jou omdat ook zij, zonder schrik, hun ware ik mogen tonen.

Door jezelf te zijn, geef je automatisch aan anderen ‘de toelating/ goedkeuring’ opdat ook zij zichzelf zouden kunnen/mogen zijn.

Dat voelt voor iedereen heel goed aan, een ware opluchting in een wereld vol schijn, vol ‘doen alsof’, vol krampachtig willen zijn wat men eigenlijk helemaal niet is.

Gooi het masker af,

Wees jezelf!

Ik wens je een heel interessante ontdekkingstocht en geniet van de schat die je daar zal vinden!!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Alles is een keuze.

Ja, alles.

Je kiest hoe je je voelt,

Je kiest hoe je met iets of iemand omgaat.

Nee, je hebt niet in de hand wat er gebeurt, hoe iemand reageert, wat iemand zegt, …

Maar je hebt altijd in de hand hoe jij reageert, wat jij zegt, hoe jij handelt.

Jij bepaalt of je iets persoonlijk neemt of niet, jij bepaalt of je je beledigd voelt of niet.

Is dit gemakkelijk?

Nee, absoluut niet!!

Het vergt veel oefening!!! Maar het loont de moeite!!

Denk aan al de keren dat je verdrietig was, dat je je beledigd voelde, dat je je minderwaardig voelde,…

Gedaan hiermee!

Als je bedenkt dat niemand die zich goed in zijn vel voelt, niemand die zelfzeker is, niemand die gelukkig is, niemand die blij is met zijn leven,…. jou zal kwetsen,  jou zal proberen naar beneden te halen, jou zal proberen te domineren, …dan weet je dat je niks persoonlijk dient te nemen.

Mensen halen uit vanuit frustratie, vanuit pijn, vanuit onmacht, …

Dat heeft niks met jou persoonlijk te maken.

Hoe je hierop reageert zal bepalen hoe de relatie verder verloopt.

Haal je ook uit, reageer je boos, agressief, … dan escaleert de situatie en valt er niet veel meer te redden.

Benader je de persoon vanuit een liefdevol, begripvol ( ⌿ goedkeurend), dan is er ruimte voor gesprek, voor een oplossing.

Jij bepaalt dus hoe je verder wilt: escalatie of oplossing.

Nogmaals, jij bepaalt niet hoe een ander persoon is, reageert, handelt maar jij bepaalt volledig hoe en wat jij doet en zegt.

Denk aan kinderen: diegene die het meeste liefde nodig hebben, vragen het op de minst liefdevolle manier.

Hetzelfde geldt voor volwassenen.

Hou het beeld voor ogen van waar je naartoe wilt, en handel in functie van dit beeld.

Stel je telkens de vraag: wat wil ik? Welk leven wil ik? Hoe wil ik met anderen omgaan?

En reageer op een manier die jou dichter brengt bij wat je wilt.

Dit vergt veel oefening.

We moeten voorbij de automatische reactie van verdediging, van belediging, van dingen persoonlijk nemen.

Het kan!

Visualiseer hoe je jouw leven ziet,

Mediteer om in contact te komen met jouw ware ik, om te zien wat jouw hart jou ingeeft.

Zoek de stilte op, daar zal je jouw antwoorden horen.

Profiteer van de vakantie om tot innerlijke rust te komen!

Het is een ideaal moment om even alles los te laten.

Ik wens jullie allemaal een ontspannen periode toe,

met tijd voor zelfreflectie,

met tijd om jouw leven in gedachten uit te stippelen,

met tijd om voor jezelf uit te maken wat je wel en wat je niet meer wenst in jouw leven.

Doe de dingen waar je blij van wordt, kijk naar de positieve dingen in jouw leven.

Fixeer je niet op negatieve zaken, weet dat alles continu verandert en dat dus ook de minder leuke aspecten voorbijgaan.

Meestal is het allemaal zo erg niet is als het lijkt, we maken er vaak een doemscenario van in ons hoofd en het is niet eens een realiteit.

En toch, als we niet opletten, laten we deze emotie ons het leven zuur maken.

Laat je niet meeslepen door drama, door emotie, door eindeloos malen en de situatie in jouw hoofd alsmaar erger en erger te laten worden…

Leef op een positieve vibe, straal liefde uit, verdraagzaamheid!!

En je zal liefde en blijdschap terugkrijgen!

Dit is de wet van aantrekking.

Probeer het en je zal zien dat je terugkrijgt wat je uitstuurt.

Veel plezier!!!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Live NOW!

Yeah, of course, I hear you, “when else could I live”, you’re asking yourself.

But think about it for a moment.

Do you really live now?

Or are you thinking about yesterday, last week, last year…?

Are you re-living past experiences?

Or are you thinking about tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? 10 years from now?

Are you worrying about:

how your life will be like a year from now?

how the life of your children will look like in 5 years’ time?

I know, I get it, I am a mother too and I would be lying if I would say I do not worry from time to time.

But where does it get me? What good does it bring you?

What do we gain by living in the past or worrying about the future?

NOTHING!

And I would even go further and say:

it brings needless stress, anxiety, negative feelings, sleepless nights, unnecessary arguments!

90% of all the things we worry about, never happen!!!!

So why spend all that energy fearing things that will never exist?

STOP it right now!

Live in the present moment!

Enjoy this very minute!

If you don’t:  the moment is gone forever!

Never to return!

Think about that for a moment!

Do you want to waste so much precious time?

No! So?

Yes, I know, I hear you thinking “but how do I stop”?

Just do!

Say it out loud: STOP!

Yes, say “stop” to yourself!

If you are feeling too much anxiety; come back to the here and now.

Step out of that “worst case scenario movie” in your head!

A very easy tool you can use for when your emotions are taking over is:

Focus, take a deep breath and name:

5 things you see right now

4 things you hear right now

3 things you feel right now

2 things you smell right now

1 thing you taste right now.

In actively making your conscious brain work, your unconscious brain shuts up, the movie stops.

And the emotions quiet down, the anxiety diminishes.

That’s how you learn to live in the now.

Stop living in your head, it eats away your present time here, today.

And your actual life slips away, unnoticed.

“The hours are long but the years are short”

The holidays are a good place to start.

You already feel more relaxed,

You are already triggered by new places, new experiences,

You can learn to live these moments to the fullest.

And then when it gets crazy again, make your conscious brain work on returning to the present moment.

Train your brain as you train your muscles!

Do it day after day and you will notice that after a few months:

you can easily stop the worrying, the treadmill in your head.

Of course, we will always feel, we will always think, we will always worry even.

Hey, we’re human.

But if you don’t let the emotions take over your state of mind, you will easily be able to return to being present, to living and enjoying the now, and that’s what counts!

Do not let your emotions rule your life!

I wish you all a very present, a very conscious week!

Discover the world right in front of you and you will see how beautiful it is!!!

Enjoy it!

Thanks for reading me!!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

The 2nd agreement of the 5 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz,

“Don’t take anything personally”

is a very difficult one, but an oh so important one!

I recommend this book “ The 5th agreement, a Toltec wisdom book” to everyone.

It shows you how we can live more serenely, more in peace with ourselves and it describes sublimely the traps we all fall into.

Why do we feel hurt?

Why do we feel insulted?

Why do we feel we’re being wronged?

Because there is a part of us that believes the words the other one is saying!

Because they touch a sensitive spot!

Because they appeal to a hurtful experience!

When we know

who we are,

What we stand for,

What we believe,…

Then no matter what anyone says, we cannot be hurt by them.

They don’t live in our world,

They don’t know who we really are,

They don’t know what we think, believe, feel.

They make this comment out of their world, out of their beliefs, out of their experiences.

It has nothing to do with you!

Once you truly believe, that what other people say, is their business and says nothing about you, then you are free!

You have then become immune to gossip, comments, expectations, … and then you will feel calm, no matter how bad the storm around you is ging!

Train yourself in:

finding your moment of quietness everyday,

listening to your heart,

repeating your own values, your own beliefs

and

listening to the outside world, knowing that

they live in their world,

that they are responsible for their actions, for their words,

not you!

Listen to what they have to say with a kind of ‘scientific like’ interest, you observe, you are interested in other possibilities, in other views,..

without taking anything personal, without any emotions, you are just curious, you do not judge.

You engage in a conversation without wavering, without feeling less or feeling better than the other person.

Try this and you will feel a enormous calm, a freedom, a strength coming over you.

And if you take it to the next level, you will realize that only unhappy people, people who are suffering, are the ones that lash out.

Send them love and compassion and the hurt will go away, no one ever healed by being hurt all over again…..Wishing you all a strong, calm and loving week!!

Thanks for reading me!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

I feel tired,

I feel exhausted,

I’ve had it,

I want to quit,

I want to start from scratch, …

Recognize those feelings?

Don’t we all feel that way sometimes?

Do we listen to this message?

Does this mean we have to:

Quit our job?

Move to another house, country?

Divorce?

Bring our children to the orphanage?

NO!!!!!!

Of course not!!!!!

Do we have to ignore those feelings?

NO!!!!!!

Absolutely not!!!!!

Then what do we have to do with them?

Listen to the message!

Listen to what your heart is telling you?

What do you need right now?

Do you need to:

Take some time to relax?

Take some time to reflect upon your life?

Take some time to breathe?

Yes, ALL of them!!

And hey, it’s the perfect time for it!!!

Holidays are coming up.

Use this time wisely.

Take a break form:

Busyness,

Technology,

Expectations,

Obligations,

Wanting so desperately to belong, to fit in, to be accepted,

…

Instead:

go into nature,

go for a walk,

just sit and do nothing,

breathe,

put your hand on your heart and listen to what it says.

Your heart

knows what you need,

knows what you want,

knows who you are, deep down.

It’s time to return home, to come back to your true nature, to your true self.

There you will feel peace, calm, contentment.

Live close to what you stand for and

you won’t feel empty anymore,

you won’t feel exhausted anymore.

You will feel whole,

you will feel that you are where you belong,

where you need to be.

This is my wish for you all:

Use your holiday to ‘come home’

Thank you all for reading me!

Katrien

katrien@lifecoachwomen.be

Why is it so hard to let go of the things we cannot change?

Why do we always want to feel ‘in control’? Or at least we think we are in control?

Why is it so scary to ‘let it be’?

What’s the use of holding on?

Does it serve us?

Does it bring us joy?

On the contrary!

We feel miserable, we suffer, we feel wronged.

But

It’s our pride talking,

It’s our fear talking, our fear of being ‘overlooked’, our fear of not being important enough

It’s our ego which is hurt,

We feel miserable because of our search for approval from others.

If we know who we are, what OUR values are, it doesn’t matter what others do, say, think.

Then we feel enough as we are, with or without the approval of others, because we approve of ourselves.

Feel your inner power and act upon it in every situation.

When something is bugging you and you have no power of changing it, then you have 2 choices:

You either let it eat you up inside, get angry, get frustrated, make it even worse in your head by replaying it over and over again and inventing all kinds of scenario’s (we always create worst case scenario’s…why never a best case scenario…???)

In this situation, you act like a victim, you feel weak, you feel not appreciated, your imagination gets the better of you. You feel horrible.

Or

You can accept the fact that it is something you cannot change, you do not have to accept what hurt you, but accept the fact that you cannot change what happened. And then you let it go, you relax and let it be.

Here, you feel strong, you are in “control” as in: not letting something outside of your heart, control your emotions – yes, accepting you can’t change something, takes away the power this situation has over you, you feel calm, you stick to the facts and create no turmoil in your head, you appreciate yourself and that is enough. You feel calm.

So, remember that you ALWAYS have a choice!!! Even in a situation that you have to accept as it is.

Choose wisely!

Victim or stepping away from the situation with your head high, feeling your inner strength.

“What we are today, comes from our thoughts of yesterday.

Our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow.

Our life is the creation of our mind” Buddha

So start creating a beautiful, positive life!!

You have the power to do so!

It’s in your hands! ( or better in your head :-))

Think about what you want your life to look like,

Act in a way that you enable this life to become reality!

Wishing you all the power, the courage, the creativity to give yourself the best life possible!

Enjoy this positive, light feeling of letting go of what is not serving you, and live a beautiful, joyful life with your loved ones!!

Everybody will benefit from it!

Wait no longer and let go!

Katrien,

katrien@lifecoachwomen.be

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Life is change and change is life.

The moment we understand and accept this, life will suddenly feel a lot easier, a lot lighter.

Nothing stays the same,

Nothing lasts forever.

We, as human bodies, change,

We, as thinking minds, change,

We, by experiencing life, change.

Holding on, or better: trying to hold on, is what causes pain and disappointment.

Acceptance on the other hand, makes us happier, more satisfied, makes us calmer.

Instead of fighting against change, embrace it!

Yes, we grow older, but look at all the knowledge, experience, wisdom we’ve gathered.

Yes, our kids become adults and leave home, but look at the beautiful people they’ve become, look at all the opportunities that lie ahead of them, look at all the joy they bring.

Yes, we have to say goodbye to people, but remember the good stuff, the good times you had together.

Yes, we can’t do all the stuff we used to do, but that makes us curious to discover new things, to walk new paths!

Everything is perception!

Change is necessary or everything stagnates and would deteriorate in the end.

Every year nature lets go of its leaves, its flowers, its fruits, to grow new ones the next year.

So must we.

We must let go of the stuff that is not helping us anymore, of stuff that we can not hold on to anymore, stuff that is not there anymore.

We must constantly renew ourselves, as does our cells in our body:

Renew our thoughts,

Renew our knowledge,

Broaden our horizon.

As long as we keep an open mind to everything in life,

We stay young,

We keep learning,

We keep discovering.

As we can’t stop change and evolution, the best thing to do is embrace it and be open to it.

Wishing you all the open mindedness, the joy of learning and the inspiration to lead the best life you can imagine!

Enjoy life!

Thank yo so much for reading me,

Katrien

katrien@lifecoachwomen.be

www.lifecoachwomen.be

In silence you hear what is the answer to your questions

In silence you learn how and what action you want to take

In silence you feel what is right

In silence you know what you want

In silence you know who you really are

Then why don’t we sit in silence for a while?

Why are we afraid of the silence?

Unless you are afraid

of meeting the real you,

of hearing what is right,

of seeing what is your path in life,

I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t find those daily moments of reflexion.

Once you’ve created the habit of becoming silent each day,

you’ll feel the benefits of it, and you will keep doing it day after day.

It’s such a quiet, safe haven to come home to, in all the chaos and busyness of the outside world.

Without this place of restfulness, you get absorbed by external things, you get washed away by the amount of “things-to-do”,… and then you drawn.

People feel exhausted,

People feel overwhelmed,

People feel out of control,

People feel swamped.

But still, they do more instead of less.

In doing more, they hope to feel in control, they hope to fill the emptiness they are experiencing.

People don’t understand why they feel empty in a world which is full of action, full of people, full of stuff…

They feel empty because they are estranged from themselves.

They make no time to listen to their heart.

Find your quiet place, create that moment of restfulness.

Make time

Make space

Simplify your life and you will feel the emptiness fading away.

In living a simple life,

You will actually enjoy everything you do.

In having more time,

You will hear your inner voice and you will start living from your heart again.

In having less stuff,

You will actually know and enjoy everything you have.

I bet there are at least 50 things in your house that you are no longer aware of that you have them,… and yet, we keep on buying stuff.

I invite you all to just sit for a while, doing nothing.

Just let your mind be free,

Breathe,

Put your hands on your heart and listen to your silence.

Create and enjoy your own place of peace and quiet.

Have a very nice, mindful week!

Katrien

katrien@lifecoachwomen.be

Be true to yourself.

Be loyal to yourself.

Make time to find the real you again.

Make space to live as your true self!

Living estranged from yourself ends up in pain:

physical pain,

emotional pain,

mental pain,

spiritual pain.

You can live your life for years, for decades, but not forever! without paying the price.

Then one day, we suffer!

Everything is energy, we are energy.

In not living our true self, we create roadblocks on those energy paths.

And that’s why we are in pain, the energy can not flow anymore, it’s blocked.

Don’t wait until the pain is unbearable to do something about it!

Reclaim your body, reclaim your heart, reclaim your life, reclaim YOU!

In making space, making time, you will find YOU again!

In clearing out stuff, in clearing out your overscheduled agenda,

you will see more clearly:

what you want in life

who you really are

what makes you YOU

what you are here for.

I’ve talked about decluttering in many of my previous blogs.

I know it can be overwhelming.

Maybe you do not know where to start.

Start with something small.

Start today!

It’s the only way to get where you want to go, where you want to be.

For instance if you want to make time, so that you can actually find ‘space’ to think again, that there is ‘room’ for thoughts! Make time!

what you can do is:

Set a timer for 5 minutes,

And just sit and breathe.

Close your eyes and just breathe.

Let everything be

Breathe in

Breathe out

Breathe in

Breathe out

For 5 minutes only.

Do this everyday and after a week you will start feeling the benefits of it.

Add 1 minute each week.

Then after a couple of weeks you do this twice a day.

This is the start of a new life,

The life that YOU were meant to live.

Not the life others think is good for you, is right for you.

No, YOUR life!

Start small and continue to make more time, more space every day.

You’ll see yourself more and more clearly!

Let your heart be your compass!

Love is the most beautiful energy in the whole universe.

Be a beacon of love, of compassion, of peace.

Make your life silent again,

Make your life simple again.

Enjoy life!

Enjoy YOU!

I wish you all the courage and the perseverance to walk YOUR path!

Namaste!

Katrien