Lifecoachwomen.be

Acceptance,

Accepting things that are outside of our control.

Why is this so hard to do?

Why do we keep fighting the inevitable?

Why do we keep trying to control what we cannot control?

If we do not have full control, it feels as if we are not functioning properly, as if we are failing or something…. But that is our ego talking.

First, we try to ignore it,

pretend nothing is wrong.

“I have this”, “I can handle this”,

you just keep going on as usual.

But as we can’t keep on ignoring what is in our face,

then we get angry because of the injustice of it:

“This is not fair”

“Why is this happening to me?”,

“I did not deserve this “(who ever does…??)

and the blame game starts.

Then we use it as an excuse to not be our optimal self, the blame game goes on….

We just can’t wrap our head around the fact that there are things beyond our control … ego, ego, ego…..

And then we get depressed because,

all of our ‘fighting’,

all of our trying to change what is going on,

does not get us anywhere, or at least not where we (think we) want to be.

What is going on, is still there….

We still cannot accept that there is this reality that we cannot change….

The more we fight things, the more ‘fight’ we get back.

It feels as, if we do not let the universe know that we do not agree with what is going on, we did not do our utmost to change/ control what is going on. But it is not ours to control… ego, ego, ego….

It’s only when we accept what cannot be changed,

that there is room for solutions, for moving forward, for letting go, for finally stopping to try to control the uncontrollable.

Some of you might have recognized the 5 stages of the grieving process as described by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.

I used it here because I think this process does not only apply to coping with loss of a loved one,

I think it applies to all situations where we feel ‘loss’,

where we feel we have to let go of someone, of something, of situations-as-they-were.

Only by accepting, we find ourselves in a place from where we can move forward.

Especially today,

where the whole world is upside down,

where politics are crazier than ever,

where people are desperately trying to revive the economy, to get the world back on track,

where people do not know what is true anymore, what works and what doesn’t,

where we do not know who to listen to anymore,

where we have this unseen, unknown ‘enemy’ and we don’t know how to deal with it.

Especially now,

we have to let go of what we used to do, of what we used to know, of what we used to think was the only way to do things, of what we think we can control.

Only by accepting that things are different now (or at any given moment in time as change is a constant factor in life),

we can start:

seeing solutions,

adapting our way of doing things,

re-inventing businesses,

reorganizing how we used to live,

re-thinking our priorities.

As we talked about the scale of vibration frequencies in last week’s blog,

you know that when we are on a higher frequency vibration,

we will attract similar, positive situations.

So, make sure you go to those high frequency levels!

That’s where you’ll find your joy, your happiness, your ‘answers’.

My invitation to you all this week is:

Accept what you cannot control and go from there.

Start from a place of acceptance,

and you’ll feel that it becomes:

easier to bear whatever life throws at you,

easier to move on,

easier to find your path again.

As long as you ‘fight’ it,

‘It’ will fight back and give you a hard time.

Live from your higher self,

let your ego know it is okay to not have control over everything,

it’s okay to not know all the answers right away.

Become still,

start with accepting there is turmoil in your life and go from there.

Everything is always changing, that is a given.

Sometimes we see right away the good part of the change,

and sometimes it takes a (very) long time ….

But never stop looking for the good part in everything.

Change is inevitable,

Life is constant change.

The sooner we accept this,

The sooner we will feel more at ease with change.

The sooner we will feel more at ease with life.

Thank you all for reading me,

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Last week we talked about

deciding to be happy,

about

how to live on a high frequency vibration in order to attract similar things.

As I was listening yesterday to Gabrielle Bernstein, that was exactly what she was talking about.

Synchronicities…. 🙂

I fully agreed with, and ‘felt’ what she was teaching.

She calls her method of getting back to that high level of vibration:

the ‘Choose Again Method’:

it’s a practice that is basically what it means to switch to a higher vibration in order to feel better.

Remember the image of a radio I talked about last week:

if you want to listen to a different kind of music,

you have to actively switch to a different frequency.

This is how her Choose Again Method works,

You have to recognize and identify the “repeat stories’ that we keep telling ourselves.

Because if you don’t realize you are in a negative mood and going on and on about how shitty your life is, you won’t know it and you surely won’t be able to switch frequencies.

Then you have to forgive yourself for thinking those negative thoughts.

It’s okay, don’t beat yourself up about it,

you thought them, and now you know they are not helping you and you forgive yourself!

And then a 3^rd step is to CHOOSE AGAIN!

Decide here and now that you want to stop feeling bad!

That is the secret to feeling good:

make this decision:

“I want to stop feeling bad”

Do it, it is necessary to move on to that higher vibration frequency.

But how do I get to this high frequency level of vibrations, you will ask.

Well, if you are feeling lousy, you can’t switch to feeling super happy in an instant. That’s logical.

What you do is, you choose to go to the next best feeling, the next best thought.

That is doable and that is how you will finally reach ‘feeling good’.

Go step by step!

Why is this important?

This is how you will create a long-lasting state of well-being!

A very interesting scale is the scale of 22 levels designed by Abraham-Hicks who ‘puts’ feelings, moods to every frequency.

The lowest frequency is on number 22 and from there, you climb up.

Here it is:

22: fear, grieve, powerlessness, despair.

21: insecurity, guilt, unworthiness

20: jealousy

19: hatred, rage. So, if you are feeling angry, you’re already on a higher frequency than being jealous. You are already feeling more powerful, ready to take action. So, this is already better that the all-consuming feeling of jealousy.

18: revenge

17: anger

16: discouragement

15: blame

14: worry

13: doubt

12: disappointment

11: overwhelm

10: irritation, frustration

 9:  pessimism

 8:  boredom

 7: contentment

 6:  hopefulness

 5:  optimism

 4:  positive expectation and belief

 3:  enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness

 2: passion

 1:  joy, appreciation, empowerment, freedom, love

Now, it is all up to you.

You make the decision to stop feeling bad and

then you work yourself up, in your own time and pace,

to go step by step higher and higher on the frequencies scale.

As you attract similar-vibrational situations, people, events, …

you’ll notice it becomes easier and easier to keep going as the atmosphere around you becomes more and more positive.

Opportunities will come up, seemingly from out of nowhere.

You’ll meet people who think alike.

You’ll be able to do things that seemed impossible before.

You’ll “find” support from in unexpected place.

My invitation to you all is:

Recognize your fear-based, negative stories

Forgive yourself here and now for being in this negative mood

Choose to stop feeling bad and go for the next best thought, the next best feeling.

Even in the worst scenarios, you can always find some sliver of positivism, some sparkle of hope.

Look for this and climb the frequencies!

Enjoy how you will transform.

Even when the circumstances do not change immediately,

YOU will FEEL DIFFERENT and that is what matters!!

Feel good and all else will fall into place.

Thank you all for reading me!!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

The mind says: “When everything falls into place, I’ll be happy”

The heart says: “Be happy and everything will fall into place.”

People often refuse to believe that

and become angry when you’re only even suggesting this.

But it is so true.

If you are waiting to be happy until everything in your life is balanced and in harmony ….

you’ll never be happy!

It is up to you to create, to live in a state of contentment,

of harmony, of feeling energized.

It all starts with you: if you live on a high vibration frequency,

you attract all things that vibrate on that same frequency.

So, situations at work, in your family, in your relationship, in your finances, health issues, … all change, all feel different when you approach them from a high frequency vibration.

Things that vibrate on a low frequency are: hatred, anger, fear, grudges, resentment, …

So, if you are living on that frequency:

you’ll attract more of that negative, energy draining stuff.

Just imagine:

You feel anger and frustration towards a colleague: the first word that person utters in the morning, you’re already interpreting it in a negative way, so, you’ll respond aggressively and oh yes, you’ll get confirmation of your negative feelings towards that person because -of course- that person will then be annoyed with you.

Another example:

Your teenager won’t ‘behave’ in a way you want him/her to and even before he/she did or said anything, you’re already looking for that unwanted behavior, he/she feels observed and will -of course- react irritated and yep there you have your confirmation of irritated behavior.

This law of attraction works in every aspect of your life.

Even your health, your weight, your physical condition:

when you feel fat, tired, out of shape, … whatever, you’ll behave in a way that will ‘confirm’ your feelings about it.

When you feel bad, you’ll start eating unhealthy ‘comfort’ food which will make you even more tired and you certainly won’t lose weight because of it.

When you feel tired, you won’t go out and exercise so you will feel even more tired because of just hanging on the sofa, doing nothing and feeling like a coach potato.

You can find more examples in your life of ‘confirming’ behavior.

Today more than ever, it is crucial that we keep ourselves feeling energized, living on that high vibration frequency.

How do we get there?

By doing things we enjoy,

By enjoying the things that we do,

By looking at things that make us feel good, ( so stop watching all that negative, energy draining, panic creating garbage)

By being in nature, observing all that beauty and realizing we are part of that amazing universe,

By appreciating all the little things in life,

By meditating,

By taking good care of our body,

By sleeping enough: everything looks less threatening after a good night sleep,

By doing selfless things,

By focusing on others,

By becoming quiet,

By responding to everything from a place of compassion, of understanding, of love.

By seeing others as friends instead of ‘enemies’, ….

And yes, you’ll have to change your behavior in order to change the frequency you are living on.

A mentor of mine once compared it with a radio:

if you want to listen to different music, you have to actively switch stations!

Otherwise you’ll keep hearing the same kind of music all the time.

My invitation to you all this week is to:

Go to that ‘new radio station’,

go to that frequency of feeling good,

of feeling happy, of being content,

and watch things ‘changing’ around you,

listen to the ‘new music’ you’re hearing.

Enjoy the peace that comes over you.

That peace will give you the patience, the understanding, the energy

you need to deal with everything around you.

Namaste

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Last week I talked about creating space in order to feel the energy flowing again.

Creating space -to me- also means:

creating me-time,

creating silence,

creating stillness in your head,

creating moments for oneself.

Especially after

having spent so much time together in one house, one apartment,

having been ‘locked up’,

not being able to do what we were used to do,

not being able to go wherever we wanted to go.

Especially now that they are constantly trying to make us feel scared.

Yesterday I wanted to buy shoes for my son and after 5 minutes we left the shop. It felt as if there was going to be a terror attack.

Instead of feeling relaxed, instead of feeling the atmosphere you normally feel: music, friendly people asking if they can help you,… there was this message in the loudspeakers: “ for your own safety: keep your distance, wear your mask, disinfect your hands, do not touch what you do not buy.”

Really??

Is that how we want to live?

Not me, I refuse to be part of this panic-creating atmosphere.

Please, keep a cool head, do not let them get you all crazy and paranoid.

That is why it is absolutely necessary you create your own sanctuary, your place of silence, of peace, of feeling you again.

It is hard when the house is full of people, I know.

But that means it is even more important than ever.

Finding time to breathe, to just sit in silence for a while,

is so important.

Afterwards, you’ll have the energy again to tackle whatever needs to be tackled.

You’ll feel happy and relaxed and everybody will benefit from it.

Make your family understand this.

Just make an agreement with them:

You announce when you need your moment of silence,

you ask them to respect this silence for 30 minutes or an hour (whatever you need)

and you go to your quiet place.

That’s doable for everyone, especially when you explain that they will benefit too.

Afterwards your batteries will be recharged and you can do family stuff together again with a smile on your face.

Young or old, you can make them understand, just think of the benefits for everyone.

We need to make sure we stay healthy: mentally, physically, emotionally.

Now more than ever, take care of yourself!

Sleeping enough also is of utmost importance.

As I said last week: sleep is when our body heals.

My invitation to you all this week is:

Find your silence,

Take time to feel peaceful, relaxed,

Find your inner peace,

Be you,

Don’t let anyone ‘steal’ your common sense.

Remain an individually thinking, kind, empathic person.

Thank you all for reading me

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

The holidays are (almost) over and I hope most of you feel energized and ready to go back to work/school.

It’s been a strange year so now more than ever we will need all the energy we can muster.

Okay, but “how can I feel more energized?” I hear you ask.

“How do I feel light, uplifted?”

Less is more

and this you can apply to all areas of your life.

To feel the energy flowing: make space!

Space in your agenda,

Space in your house,

Space in your mind,

…

Space in y our agenda:

Take a really good look at all the things you do and choose only the meaningful stuff to keep doing.

Endless scrolling on your phone does not relax you,

You think it might but it fills you mind with garbage, which makes you feel agitated, irritated, annoyed, hence it eats up energy.

Endless news watching: idem dito.

Endless movie/soap watching, …

Remind yourself of what it is that lifts your heart and do more of that stuff, you’ll feel a huge difference!

Do things that put a smile on your face, things that really make you feel good inside.

Space in your house:

We’ve all been home a lot lately and this can have 2 results:

Or our house is cleaner and lighter than ever after a thorough “spring cleaning”

Or our house is cluttered more than ever: everybody is home, everybody is doing stuff at home and leaves traces of their presence….

This takes away more energy than you can ever imagine.

Make space, clear out the rooms,

Let everybody clean up after they’ve eaten, played, crafted, worked, …

Have/keep less stuff: the less stuff you have , the less you have to organize, to store, to clean.

A few basic house rules and everybody will benefit from it.

A clean, organized house is a sure winner to feel happy and energized!

Space in your mind:

Holding on to negative thoughts,

Gossiping,

Complaining,

Thinking the worst possible scenarios,

…

All those are energy drainers!

One of my mentors dr Sue Morter says it beautifully:

No blaming, no shaming, no complaining!

Thinking positively helps us to feel good, to stop worrying so much.

90% of all the worries we ever had, never became reality anyway!

But it sure took a lot of our energy!

Worrying leads to stress and stress undermines our immune system.

This is another very good reason not to worry so much because we need our immune system to be optimal now more than ever!

That’s why we also need to take care of our body:

Eat healthy, organic foods,

exercise,

move your body daily,

and sleep!

Sleep is when your body recovers, when it heals.

It’s one of the most neglected tools we have to keep healthy!

So, get enough sleep!

You’ll feel yourself changing!

You’ll feel rested,

You’ll feel capable of handling all the stuff you need to do,

You’ll be in a good mood,

You’ll be worrying less because you feel you are on top of things,

You’ll feel less overwhelmed.

…

I know I keep saying this stuff over and over again, and I’ve written a whole book about it (which I hope to have published beginning of next year) because I truly believe this is absolutely essential to our wellbeing.

This is the key to living

instead of feeling lived by the circumstances.

The weekend is coming up so I invite you all to take a good look at what is going on in your life right now.

Make a decision right here and right now,

to start living a life with “space” in it.

Thank you all for reading me!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Hello everyone,

It’s been a couple of weeks.

For me the holidays are over and so I am back!

How are you doing these days?

Do you feel okay?

Are you living your life?

Or are you living what the media dictates us to do?

I hope the former.

I stopped following the “news” months ago.

Yes, we have to stay informed and act responsibly, absolutely.

But that’s the thing, we have to stay INFORMED,

Not dramatized,

Not scared,

Not blindly following what mass media tells us to do or not to do.

Do you still think for yourself?

Or do you believe everything what’s being said?

I hope you keep your mind clear, rational.

For months and months, all we hear is

scary stories,

hypotheses,

random advice,

contradictory information,

…

Now what do you choose?

To just follow what other people think is the right way to do,

Or

To think for yourself and follow your instincts?

I choose the latter,

I firmly believe in listening to my inner voice.

I have faith in my body and its intelligence to heal itself.

That’s why I believe the best thing we can do, is

to make sure we are as healthy, as strong as possible,

to keep our immune system as optimal as possible.

I make sure my body is healthy by

sleeping enough,

eating healthy,

practicing sports.

I make sure my mind is healthy by:not polluting it with garbage ‘information’,

thinking independently,

keeping to the bare and proven facts: not hypothesizing.

I make sure my soul is healthy by

not letting others scare me,

doing what lifts my spirits,

doing what gives me energy,

meditating,

having quiet moments where the dust can settle down so that I can see clearly again.

I think no one knows the one and only truth, is there even a one, unchangeable truth..?

I don’t think so.

Therefor I ask you to stop following

all the mindless discussions,

the ever-repeating-itself news.

Just live your life to the best of your knowledge,

to what your intuition tells you is the best for you.

Keep yourself healthy and that is the most conscious, most empathic, most caring way to live right now.

Live,

Breathe,

Love!

Thank you all for reading me and see you next week!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

” We desire the opposite of what we once desired. Our prayers are at war with our prayers, our plans are at war with our plans” 

Seneca, Moral Letters 45.6

How so?

How are our plans at war with our plans?

Well, here is the thing:

What we really want, what we really desire,

and what we actually do to obtain this,

are more often than not, opposite to one another.

We would like to feel good,

but we complain the whole time that we are not feeling good.

We would like to change jobs,

but we never put in a real effort to find that job of our dreams.

We would like to lose weight,

but we feel we deserve this treat as a reward.

We would like to have a fit body,

but we never practice on a regular basis.

We would like to live in a clean, spacious house,

but we keep buying things so that our place is stuffed, and feels full and stuffy because there’s no room to clean, to breathe, to move around.

You get my drift.

Become aware of how you treat your ‘dreams’.

First of all, reflect on them,

Make sure you really know what is important to you,

What is worth the effort?

Know this first because you’ll have to make a real effort to achieve what you desire.

Once you know what you want,

Imagine yourself already living that dream.

Visualize, meditate on how this ‘new you’, your new “reality’ feels like.

Do it every day,

Become still,

And live your dream.

Hold on to that feeling.

Create in your mind this new you over and over again.

Plan how you are going to integrate this in your day-to-day life.

Make a step by step program of how you are going to get what you desire.

Stick to your program.

Do every day at least one thing that will bring you one step closer to your goal.

Never falter, never waver.

Remember the feeling you have during your visualization,

Remember why you want this,

Remember your dream.

There is only one way to get it: work towards it day by day.

If you are about to do something that is “at war” with your dreams,

something that will sabotage your progress,

stop, don’t do it.

As Martin Luther King Jr once said:

“Stop the civil war that is going on in your head.”

Don’t let one hand work against the other.

The Stoics say that this war is usually a result of our screwed-up judgements, our biased thoughts.

Work on that.

Manage your thoughts:

it’s the only way you’ll be able to change your behavior.

Become very clear about

what you think,

what you believe in,

what you want,

how you want to live,

who you want to be.Once this is crystal clear,

there won’t be any need to judge anymore,

there won’t be any biased thoughts anymore,

you’ll just live your dreams,

you’ll just mind your own business,

you’ll know what you want and how to achieve it.

Then you’ll feel

the inner peace,

the knowing,

the being-where-you-want-to-be,

the connectedness,

the coming-home-to-yourself.

The summer holidays are coming up, so my invitation to you this week is:

Become still,

Put your hand on your heart,

And listen to your inner self.

Stop the civil war inside you,

Find your place,

Find your peace.

Namaste

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

7 steps to live a joyful, relaxed and fulfilling life.

I once read these 7 steps and as I found them so powerful, I would like to share them with you.

Step 1: Serenity

Being in a serene state, gives you peace,

makes you accept what life brings to you.

I am not saying that you have to passively undergo all that is happening around you, no.

But just by accepting that things do happen beyond your control,

you can relax, you can react in a peaceful way.

That’s not the same as being a fatalist.

Choosing to be, choosing to live your life no matter what the circumstances bring you:

that brings you peace, that brings you serenity.

Step 2: Regularity

Creating a routine, having a schedule brings you calmness.

Don’t see having regularity in your life as something that holds you back.

No, having a certain regularity in life, gives you peace of mind, creates space to do things because you’re not wasting any time anymore.

You know what to do, when you’re going to do and when you have time to spare, when there is space in your agenda.

That brings calmness and so you can breathe easily.

Step 3: Absence of vanity

When you stop being vain,

when you stop thinking, it is all about you,

when you stop letting your ego run the show:

you’ll start listening to others,

you’ll stop comparing,

You’ll start noticing all the beauty around you,

you’ll start being more loving, more compassionate,

and that will give you joy.

Step 4: Sincerity

Speak the truth, act in accordance of how you are feeling, of what you are thinking.

Always be respectful but do say what you are really feeling.

Drop the mask, drop the act,

be honest with yourself and with others.

That’s the only way there can be a real connection.

Feeling connected, feeling you belong somewhere brings you joy.

Step 5: Simplicity

Keep life simple, keep things simple.

The less you have, the easier, the clearer life becomes.

Return to your true self, to your source.

Choose what is important to you:

you can have anything but not everything.

Choose wisely.

When your attention is divided among a lot of things,

nothing gets your complete focus.

So, choose what matters most to you and give it all of your attention.

That way you’ll live a fulfilling life.

Step 6: Veracity

Don’t ‘work’ the facts, don’t twist the truth.

Be reliable, act upon your promises.

Be truthful.

What you think, what you say and what you do, must be one and the same.

Step 7: Equanimity

No matter what is going on around you, keep your own mood peaceful.

Always be a loving, kind, compassionate person.

Joy and pain are part of life.

We all have to deal with it.

Don’t let it dictate your mood,

don’t let it rule your world.

Be in charge of how you feel, of how you react.

Everybody benefits of a respectful, calm behavior in any situation.

I invite you all to think about these steps and you’ll know where you can improve, where you can become a better, more peaceful person.

The beauty of it is that EVERYBODY benefits from your improvement: YOU in the first place, because you’ll feel so much better.

And when you feel better, everybody around you will be influenced by it.

I wish you all a very joyful, peaceful, calm week!

Thank you all for reading me.

Namaste

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Going through life is like traveling with a back pack.

Everything you keep,

everything you put in that backpack,

makes it a lot heavier to carry.

At first, we don’t notice it,

the load is still light to carry,

we are not tired yet.

But the longer we walk,

and the more we hold on to things,

the heavier the burden becomes.

We get tired,

we feel our energy waver

and we don’t understand why.

Why does life ‘suddenly’ seem so much harder to bear?

How come we can’t cope with life the way we used to?

We are puzzled,

We ‘fight’ it because no, we are not weak….

And yet, we feel our energy draining even more.

Let’s take a look at what we carry in our ‘back pack’.

Do we really need everything we hold on to?

No!!!!

On the contrary,

The more you let go of,

The lighter life will feel.

Try it, really do.

You’ll be amazed by how much you can let go of.

I am not just talking about the physical stuff, but also about the emotional stuff.

We carry so much hurt, anger, resentment, frustration and for what?

What good does that do you?

None!

It eats away all your energy.

Just consider for a moment this question one of the students once asked their professor in the context of ‘how heavy is the stuff we carry around?’.

The professor asked them a question in return:

“Is holding a glass of water with your arm straight up a heavy task to do?”

They pondered upon their answer and came up with:

not if you hold it for a minute,

maybe, for some, not even when they have to hold it up for like 15 minutes, or for half an hour for the real die-hards.

But if you have to keep it up for hours, days, …., weeks, years:

the task becomes impossible.

So, everything you carry with you,

becomes heavy,

unbearable even,

at one point.

Have you reached that point yet?

Do you want to reach that point?

Or will you start letting go today?

Let go of all the clutter in your house, in your car.

Just keep what you need and what you absolutely adore.

Stuff you keep to show others,

Stuff you think you are supposed to have, supposed to use,

but you actually do not feel you need them:

Let it all go, get rid of it.

Clear out your cabinets, your rooms, your closet, …

Let the air enter your house, enter all of your rooms.

The less stuff you have, the lighter it feels,

the more the energy can flow through.

The same goes for your body:

drink water, eat fruits and vegetables.

Make your body clean so that here too,

the energy can pass freely.

The hardest part is letting go of the stuff in your head:

it is really simple, but not easy, to do:

you have to make a choice!

“Do I want to spent another minute

feeling bad?

feeling down?

feeling drained?”

Yes?

Ok, just continue the way you are doing right now. The choice is yours.

No?

Then let go of all that the stuff that makes you feel this way.

Stop thinking about the stuff that drains you.

Start thinking about things that lift you up,

things that put a smile on your face.

Is it easy?

In the beginning absolutely not!

We are addicted to our negative thoughts,

we keep them going around and around in our head.

We know them so well it feels like home.

So, we wallow in them.

But beware!

They don’t make you happy!!!!

Change your thoughts!

Time after time, again and again.

If you feel you’re going down that well-known path again,

Change your course!

The more you practice it, the easier it will become.

Trust me, you can switch your thoughts to what makes you feel energized.

You don’t remember what makes you feel happy?

Go into nature,

Sit in a quiet place,

Put your hands on your heart and breathe.

Just sit there and listen to the silence.

Do this every day until you get in touch

with your true self again,

with the person you really are,

with the person who started life with a light backpack and gathered all that stuff throughout the years.

Unload your backpack,

Look very closely at what was in it and decide what you want to keep carrying around every day.

Only keep what is good for you,

what gives you energy.

This is my invitation for you this week:

Unload all the things you hold on to,

Look at them,

Choose with your heart what you are going to keep and what you will let go of.

It will take some time.

It will feel painful sometimes, even when you want to let go of things that make you unhappy. (because it feels so familiar)

But remember letting go is difficult one time, holding on to something painful keeps hurting day after day, year after year.

You’ve gathered stuff over the years, so take your time to unload.

Don’t rush, go at your own pace but keep moving forward.

Let go of something every day.

Even letting go of a small thing keeps you in the right mindset of clearing out the clutter (physical, emotional).

Once you continue your path with a lighter burden,

you’ll feel so happy, so relieved, so refreshed.

Enjoy the journey!

Thank you all for reading me!

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be

Why do we always take things personal?

Why do so quickly feel hurt, attacked, wronged, ….?

Why?

Why do we always think it is about us?

This is actually quite absurd because the funny thing is:

it hardly ever is about us…

We worry,

We fret,

We get angry,

We get upset,

We think about revenge (that’s a real problem solver, isn’t it?!?),

We feel sad,

….

And all the time, we could have avoided those energy drainers.

Just by realizing: it is not about us!

People live their lives,

We don’t always know what is going on in their lives, and even if we do,

we hardly ever know the whole story.

People have their worries, their problems, their thoughts, their emotions.

We interact with them,

and when they (re-)act in a way we did not anticipate:

we immediately get on our high horse because our ego says:

we do not deserve this,

we work so hard and they don’t even appreciate it,

we are nice and they snap,

blablabla…

We create a whole cinema in our head.

We make up a complete story in detail(!)and we keep it running over and over again in our head.

Until we start believing it!

That’s the thing:

our subconscious believes what we keep telling ourselves,

whether it really happened or whether we just imagined it.

And once we believe it, we get even more emotional and we think even more about it and yes, we keep running in that treadmill of our thoughts, emotions, thoughts, emotions, ….

We literally drive ourselves crazy,

And then we wonder why there are conflicts between people.

You have to consciously stop that train of thoughts, they are only thoughts, you can consciously change your own thoughts.

You have to make an effort because it doesn’t come easy.

It’s really worth it though because once you stop thinking those upsetting thoughts, the emotions will attenuate too.

It’s the story in our head that creates all the emotions, so stop the story and you’ll feel the immediate result, you’ll feel your emotions calm down!

You’ll then be able to see that how people act is NOT ABOUT YOU.

People don’t think about you, they have their own life to live.

And even when they do think about you, they forget about it almost instantly.

Have you ever checked your story with the ‘actors’ of that story?

How many times did they mean it as you thought they meant it?

How many times did they not even realize you had an issue with what was said or done until you asked them about it?

I was a master in story making in my head, I could go on all day, or even days, weeks.

At the end you have an Oscar winning film in your head!!

You really do,

And nothing about it is true!

It’s just stuff you made up in your mind, it’s only thoughts.

You do not have to believe everything you think!

That’s the beauty of it.

Change your thoughts and you’ll change your emotions.

Thoughts trigger emotions and emotions make you focus on the subject even more: energy flows where attention goes.

The more you focus on it, the more significant the issue becomes.

That’s why I invite you all to:

Take a step back,

Breathe,

Check your thoughts,

Stop the story telling.

And if something is really bothering you:

Make no story of your own so that there are no excessive emotions.

Talk to the person(s) involved in a calm and rational way.

You’ll notice that you almost always get the situation resolved

with no hard feelings left,

with no lingering anger,

and faster than you would ever have imagined!

Most of the times there was no issue at all.

When there was a hurtful situation, you now know they didn’t mean to hurt you, there was something going on in their life and you just got in the line of fire, so now you can let it go.

Everybody wins!

I really adore the following saying:

“Hate is like drinking poison and hoping the other one will die”

That is so true.

Hate doesn’t solve anything, on the contrary:

it makes you feel sick, it drains you

and the other person -in most cases- not even realizes that there is an issue at hand.

It really is absurd to hate.

My recipe for being happy, for living a good life is:

knowing it is not about us,

talking things through before we get ahead of ourselves,

interacting with respect, sympathy

and having the will to co-exist in a loving, friendly way.

That is what I wish it for you.

Thank you all for reading me.

Katrien

www.lifecoachwomen.be